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Wednesday, April 26, 2017
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Ginger was just about turned into a zombie
Wednesday, April 26, 2017 4:00 AM
As part of my ongoing plastic surgery saga, allow me to give you a rundown of my day thus far. It has been nearly a month since I had the third set of procedures that were intended to correct the original botched surgery. Last night, I went to bed with some pretty serious pain in my thigh. When I awoke at 5:30 a.m., it was still quite intense, so, I did that thing you are not supposed to do, and began Googling my symptoms.
After an hour or so, I determined I was suffering from a rare condition called Dysethesia. It never occurs due to liposuction, so I knew without a doubt that mine was a unique case. As I contemplated how I would convince my doctor of the diagnosis (he rarely validates my internet research), I looked down and noticed that the sheets were covered in blood.
I ran to the full-length mirror and carefully examined each of my 10 incisions. The first nine were completely intact with no sign of infection. I half-heartedly glanced at my right side, assuming it would also be nearly healed, but what I saw reflected in the mirror left me terrified.
Legislature letting citizens down
Tuesday, April 25, 2017 4:00 AM
If you’re a sports fan, you probably saw the clips over the weekend from Indiana Pacers star Paul George and Oklahoma City standout Russell Westbrook. If you are not a sports fan, bear with me if you please.
Both were asked questions (very fair questions, mind you) during post-game press conferences. The Paper’s newsgathering partner is WTHR, Channel 13. Their columnist, Bob Kravitz, asked George the question that’s been on Pacers’ fans’ minds for a while, is he staying in Indianapolis or leaving? Granted, George and the Pacers had just been swept out of the playoffs. But if Kravitz doesn’t ask that question, someone else will. If no one does, readers will wonder why the hell not. It’s fair, and yet, George responded with, “I ain’t even at that point, Bob. Next question.”
In Oklahoma City, Westbrook was in a press conference when a teammate got asked a question about the team’s failure to play well without their star. Westbrook wouldn’t allow his teammate to answer, going on a bit of a rant. It was a fair question. Didn’t matter. Westbrook ignored the reporter and called for the next question.
Bing. Bang. Boom. End of story.
These guys refused to answer in front of microphones and cameras. At some point, whether it’s on www.theplayerstribune.com or a social media account, they’ll probably reverse course. There, they can say it the way they want, when they want. They won’t have the prying questions from those pesky media types. Oh, those darn pesky media types!
Lawmakers Conclude 2017 Session
Monday, April 24, 2017 4:00 AM
Passage of Indiana’s next two-year budget highlighted this week’s conclusion of the 2017 legislative session. The new state budget is balanced, has $1
The new state budget is balanced, has $1.9 billion in reserves, and provides significant funding increases for education, public safety and fighting drug abuse.
For the past decade, Indiana has been a national leader in responsible budgeting. In recent years, lawmakers have cut taxes for both workers and employers, reduced state debt and built up our reserves. An important part of our economic climate is creating policies that benefit tax payers and job creators.
This budget reflects these principles that have made Indiana the fiscal envy of the nation while continuing our strong track record of pro-growth economic policies.
Highlights of the state budget (House Enrolled Act 1001) include:
How do you know if it’s Alzheimer’s or not?
Monday, April 24, 2017 4:00 AM
“Dad is getting awfully forgetful - could he have Alzheimer’s?” That’s becoming a more common question. We are more likely to encounter someone with Alzheimer’s dementia as the proportion of elderly in our society increases. Some forgetfulness is normal for most of us as we age. Many of us carry the fear of developing Alzheimer’s or another form of dementia as we get older.
The word dementia stems from the Latin de- “apart or away” and mentis “mind.” It is characterized by a progressive decline in cognitive and behavioral function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what is expected in normal aging. Alzheimer’s dementia or AD is the most common cause of dementia.
Approximately 5.2 million people in the U.S. suffer from clinically significant AD. There are many more who have mild disease (mild cognitive impairment) that remain functional. Most cases of AD are sporadic, while about seven percent of cases are genetic in origin.
Wolfsie’s pal is sleep revived
Friday, April 21, 2017 4:00 AM
Remember Arshid Chowdhury? I wrote about him years ago when he invented something called a sleep pod, a high-tech structure that can still be seen in several airports around the country. Crawl into the enclosure, and you can catch 40 winks in the middle of the day for about 20 bucks, or about 50 cents a wink. (Before we all got so politically correct, I’d have made a funny joke about my reputation of innocently—and inexpensively—flirting with the ladies.)
Chowdhury has enjoyed great financial success since I first wrote about him, despite problems in the beginning: many customers could not successfully nod off while nesting. Some travelers just stared into space with their eyes wide open, something most people can already do at their place of employment and actually get paid for it.
On the hunt for the marvelous morel
Friday, April 21, 2017 4:00 AM
It is springtime in Indiana and that can mean only one thing: mushroom hunting season. We have seen many social media posts of people finding plenty of morels in our wooded areas of Montgomery County. Morels are fun to go out and find but are also yummy to eat.
Morel hunting is a time-honored tradition in the Midwest. They are known by many names, including dryland fish, miracle, sponge mushroom, and hickory chicken. These mushrooms generally pop up when the soil starts to warm and before trees have fully leafed out, usually between the end of March and the first of May. They are found in and around forested areas, sometimes at the forest’s edge. Look for dead or dying hardwood trees, such as oaks and ashes (if you can find them). It is said that they can be found more frequently just after a soaking rain. Early in the morel hunting season, look for them on south facing slopes, where the soil temperature will be warmer. Later in the season, look on north facing slopes, where soil temperatures are still cool enough to support the fruiting bodies. Be careful while hunting for mushrooms and going off of marked trails – it’s not unheard of to come across a copperhead snake (one of Montgomery County’s venomous snakes) while searching for morels.
A world-traveler, Karen thinks he likes C'ville the best
Thursday, April 20, 2017 4:00 AM
My guest this week was the first of three sons to be born in a hospital (Evansville) near their country home. A sister arrived later. His father was a general manager over eight counties for a feed company. In high school (Booneville), a teacher influenced him to get involved in reading current events, an activity important to his life yet today. Even considers himself a “social studies nut!” Certainly, we have that in common!
Also during high school, he was heavily involved in music, playing an alto sax during concert band and drums in dance band. After high school, he headed to ISU. His educational time frame produced an oddity. Staying in the exact place, he attended Indiana State Teachers’ College, Indiana State College and Indiana State University, due to name changes.
Then, going to college was reasonably inexpensive at $5/credit hour plus he had a part time job in a Sub way, but not the places called that today: “It was more of a greasy spoon!” Completing his education, it was to Crawfordsville to teach. Glad he chose Montgomery County.
LWV explains stance on immigration issues
Thursday, April 20, 2017 4:00 AM
The League of Women Voters of the United States believes that immigration policies should promote reunification of immediate families; meet the economic, business and employment needs of the United States; and be responsive to those facing political persecution or humanitarian crises. Provision should also be made for qualified persons to enter the United States on student visas. All persons should receive fair treatment under the law.
The League supports federal immigration law that provides an efficient, expeditious system (with minimal or no backlogs) for legal entry of immigrants into the United States.
To complement these goals the League supports federal policies to improve economies, education, job opportunities and living conditions in nations with large emigrating populations.
In transition to a reformed system, the League supports provisions for unauthorized immigrants already in this country to earn legal status.
The League supports federal payments to impacted communities to address the financial costs borne by states and local governments with large immigrant populations.
Category: Things that only happen in the south
Wednesday, April 19, 2017 4:00 AM
I had just a few minutes to run a quick errand before checking into the hospital for surgery. I pulled into a downtown Chattanooga parking garage, and the attendant, an older woman, struck up a conversation. When she found out I needed to park for less than 30 minutes, the following dialogue ensued:
She: "Oh, honey, you don't want to park in here! You can park on the street and it only costs 50 cents for thirty minutes."
Me: "I don't mind. I'm not good at parallel parking."
She: "You just hold on a minute."
Proceeding to leave the booth, she walked out to the street.
Upon her return: "There are several spots right up the block. You'll find a big one, and your car will slide in easy as pie!"
Me: "Really, it's ok. If you could please just lift the gate, I'll go on through."
Saluting Volunteers of the Montgomery County 4-H Program
Wednesday, April 19, 2017 4:00 AM
Each year, thousands of volunteers in Indiana donate their time and energy to make their communities a better place to live. These volunteers will be among the millions across the country who will be spotlighted during the 43rd anniversary of National Volunteer Week, April 23-29, 2017.
Research conducted by the Corporation for National and Community Service found that 25.3 percent of adult Americans (62.8 million) volunteered 7.9 billion hours of service worth $184 billion in 2014. In 2015 in Indiana, more than 1.47 million volunteers contributed 132.14 million hours of service, valued at $3.1 billion. 26.9 percent of Indiana residents volunteered ranking Indiana 25th among the 50 states and Washington, D.C.
One group that relies heavily on volunteers is the Indiana 4-H Program. In 2017 nearly 15,000 youth and adults are volunteering in some capacity with 4-H. In Montgomery County, 111 volunteers, both youth and adult, will serve as club leaders, project leaders, committee members, and in advisory capacities for the 4-H Youth Development Program.
Bubba wants to run with bulls
Tuesday, April 18, 2017 4:00 AM
I try to be cheerful and professional when answering the phone. After all, customer service is one of the cornerstones of our company and we want to treat our patrons wonderfully well, whether in person or on the phone.
But sometimes the phone seems to ring at just exactly the worst possible moment. You’ve been there, right? You are in the middle of something and don’t have a spare hand . . . and at that precise moment, rrriiiinnnnggg.
I tried to sound cheerful and professional.
“Mr. Timmons, I am right pleased to inform you that you’ve been selected as the winner of our grand prize promotion and you and your wife have won an all-expenses paid trip via luxury cruise ship to London, England.”
Now first off, this was about the 1,500th time that week that I got lucky. An e-mail told me a duke had died and left me millions, or some poor unfortunate chap had a terrible accident and would give me wealth beyond my dreams if I would help, or my granddaughter had been in a bit of trouble down in Tijuana and just needed a few hundred dollars.
I don’t have a granddaughter.
Final weeks of session
Monday, April 17, 2017 4:00 AM
The 2017 legislative session will be drawing to a close by the end of the month.
Several key issues are being worked out in Conference Committees, which are comprised of members from both the House of Representatives and Senate. Conference Committees find agreement on a final bill, which must then be approved by both chambers. If the bill is passed, it moves to the governor for final consideration.
The season of sneezin’ is fully upon us
Monday, April 17, 2017 4:00 AM
It’s once again time to run my annual column on allergies. Many of our readers are probably already cursing the annual return of allergy symptoms. The pollen levels in Indiana are already ramping up as spring (hopefully) arrives for good.
Allergies are a major problem for many people. When allergy sufferers are asked about their quality of life, they generally rate allergies as more bothersome than heart disease and sometimes even cancer. There are many causes of allergies, but I want to focus on the seasonal type.
Seasonal allergies are caused by pollen. Pollen actually contains the plant’s male DNA; it is analogous to sperm in animals. The goal of any biologic organism is to spread its genes as far and wide as possible. Pollen is the perfect vehicle to accomplish this task.
There are two main categories of pollen – anemophilous (wind-loving) and entomophilous (insect-loving). Anemophilous pollen is very lightweight which allows it to move great distances, particularly on windy days. In fact, engineers have used the geometric shapes of some of these pollen grains to shape golf ball dimples to help them fly farther. Anemophilous pollen is produced by trees, grasses and weeds.
Wolfsie wonders about cookie monsters
Friday, April 14, 2017 4:00 AM
We hear a lot about frivolous lawsuits, but we don’t hear nearly enough about the delicious ones, so here’s a tasty bit of gossip: A guy from Kentucky is suing the company that makes Oreo cookies. He asserts that Oreos are slowly killing him. So what’s the problem? This sounds like a fun way to die.
It’s probably not the first-cookie related suit on record. I myself debated legal action against the Girl Scouts in the ’80s when I became addicted to Thin Mints. I’m not saying I bought too many boxes, but one year while I was at work, my wife was selling cookies back to the Girl Scouts at a substantial discount.
The Nabisco company claims that 450 billion of these treats have been eaten in the last 100 years and no autopsy has ever listed the cause of death as Oreo cookies. Now that’s a record Nabisco can be proud of. I’m not sure the Slim Jim people can claim the same. A Slim Jim, by the way, is 98 percent fat, has no nutritional value whatsoever, and makes you want to drink a six-pack of beer. On second thought, let’s cut them some slack, also.
I’ve been eating Oreo cookies for 65 years. I think we all know the ritual. You get a huge glass of cold milk, plus 20 or 30 Oreos, and then you start twisting them apart. Some people eat the side with cream frosting first; some just eat the frosting. Others start with the plain chocolate wafer. Some dip the cookie in milk; some guzzle the milk after the cookie. How can you sue a company that has given you so many wonderful options in your life? It’s un-American.
Play together, pray together and stay together
Thursday, April 13, 2017 4:00 AM
I’ve had some rollicking good times writing the Around The County articles, but do believe I laughed the hardest at this one. Non-stop laughing. We even laughed in the middle of a deep discussion or two.
Received the name of these two for an interview from three different people. All said because of their unique family, how it is blended so beautifully. That certainly was what the big topic was and there were some hilarious stories.
This, I believe, is the third time I’ve had a younger son join in. All fun, but this one was a hoot. In fact, let’s begin with him. I knew his grandfather well and thought that he was one of the best men I’ve ever known. Never a time he wouldn’t help anyone with whatever was needed. A lot of time was spent with this young man and his grandpa, and they did something I’d never heard of before and probably won’t again, but I simply loved it. Grandpa’ was big on going to do something, get out and play a sport, or work outside. When our boy’s grandfather would pick him up at school or various places, the young one was always asked what he’d like to do. Typical answer, “Watch t.v.” However, this grandparent had quite a different view of how that was done. They’d sit and watch, “Black t.v.;” in other words, nothing was on. Plan well instigated as soon, it was time to go out and do something. When I asked the fellow what he’d like to be (dad had already hinted at such), he immediately piped up he wanted to be a policeman and was going to shadow one for the day yet this week. Also, he is thinking of flying as on a recent vacation, he saw the Blue Angels in exhibition. Something in sports or who knows? After all, he’s a football, basketball, baseball playing Freshman at North so he has plenty of time.
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a division of Sagamore News Media
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