A fable of a four-year race
Tuesday, October 02, 2012 10:00 PM
Gather round children and you shall hear the Fable of the Four Year Race
Once-upon-a-time in the land of DeeCee there was a great horse race every four years called the "Presidents Cup." Theoretically ANYONE could enter a horse in this race but in reality the winner was ALWAYS owned by one of two people. We'll just make up their names.... Let's see.. What if we give one a man's name... like Don Kee and have the other be a woman... let's say Ellie Fant.
Well Don Kee and Ellie Fant belonged to this giant club of 300 million members called the "USA" (United Sit-at-home Association). And one day Elle Fant went to Don Kee with an idea. She sez "You know Don every four years you and I put in a lot of time, work and money to enter our horse in this Presidents Cup race. You win half the time and I win the other half. I'll tell you what, I'll buy your horse for 50 million dollars (after all it wasn't Ellie's money... she got it from lobbyists) and that way you can retire in luxury while I win every Presidents Cup Race."
To which Don Kee replies: "Ellie..I'll go home to think about your offer.. I'll let you know tomorrow what I decide."
So Don Kee goes home and discovers this-here horse of his Ellie wants to buy had suddenly DIED. (It had become infected with the worst disease ever know to Horsedom... "Polly-ticks.")
But Don Kee was a quick thinker. He got on his Sell-phone and called Ellie Fant right fast. "Ellie" he sez, "I just realized I must take off in three hours on a two month, government expense paid trip to a 'Promise Anything' convention in 'Never-land', but if you'll electronically transfer that 50 million dollars to my bank account tonight, you can bring your pre-stinked chairmen and come get my 2012 Presidents Cup horse in the morning".
So Ellie Fant transfers the money .... and Don Kee escapes to "Never-land".
****** Two months later Don Kee returns.... Hasn't heard a word from Ellie Fant about spending 50 million dollars on a dead horse. Not a letter... not a phone call... not a summons... nothing.
Then one night Kee meets Fant at a Lincoln/Jackson Day Dinner. "Hi Ellie". sez Don... "What do you think of that-there horse I sold you?"
Fant replies; "Oh didn't you know Don.. I got over there next day and found the horse was dead."
"NO!!!" sez Kee in mock surprise, "Sorry to hear that. Too bad you lost all that money."
"Oh I didn't lose any money over it... in fact I came out quite well." chuckles Ellie.
"No kidding" sez Kee.. "How?"
"Well"..Fant explains... "I held a press conference and told the 300 million members of the United Sit-at-home Association, if they would each kick in a dollar they would have a chance at elect... I mean WINNING this great horse. Within a month I had deposited 300 million and six dollars"
"You mean ALL those USA people fell for it?" sez Don Kee with an envious grin.
"Why sure!" Ellie Fant replies with a chuckle "Don't they always buy into any new scheme we devise. Some even kicked in 2 bucks."
Once the mutual laughter died down. Don Kee turns to his political friend with one final question: "Ellie...what happened with the one person who sent in their dollar and won that-there dead horse... wasn't he or she kinda ... upset over it?"
"Oh I took care of that all right" Ellie sez ..."I gave him his dollar back."
Of course the above story isn't true. (Well not entirely) But please remember the moral of the story: "When it comes time to vote... don't believe everything Ellie and Don throw at you ... do your homework first.... make sure you're not betting on a Dead Horse."
That's it for this week 'til next Wednesday.... Choose and keep. (Sorry to be so brief but I gotta study up for a so-called "Debate" on TV tonight.)
Dick Munro is published in The Paper and online at your favorite local website.