I learned a new word - Pescetarian. I have no idea how to pronounce it. While skimming a food magazine in the lobby of my dentist, I ran across it. It was used to describe the nuvo-chef about which the article was written. She was a self-proclaimed pescetarian. The definition is someone who eats only plants, dairy products, eggs, and fish. I thought that was a vegetarian. I guess that word is too passé for today's foodies.

Okay then, I want to introduce my own ridiculous food definitions. My oldest is a meatatarian. He eats nothing but meat. My daughter is a dessertatarian. Yup, only desserts. My eight year old is an anti-vegan and ignores all vegetables. My husband subscribes to the philosophy of a meat and potatotarian and must have both at every meal. My ten year old believes in candyarianism which holds to the idea that a balanced diet involves at least one serving of candy every day. My 15 year old is a ramenarian and likes to eat nothing but ramen noodles. No, seriously.

I do not have the time or patience to add something as redundant as pescetarianism to my list of picky eaters. When I was growing up everyone fell into two categories: hungry or not hungry. If I didn't like what we were having for dinner, I ate it anyway. No one left the table hungry because no one left the table if their plate wasn't clean. If I claimed I was not hungry then I had to forgo the chocolate pudding for dessert, so of course I was hungry. There was no real discussion on whether or not broccoli was important to my diet or provided anti-oxidants. There was never any question on if I ate my potatoes did I still have to eat my asparagus? I ate what was on my plate. There was always dinner discussion, but it never included debates on meal selection. My parents were raised during the depression, so all food was good and abundant food was a blessing. Our dinner always included meat, potatoes, one vegetable and a salad or two vegetables, and an occasional dessert (usually the aforementioned chocolate pudding). We did not own a dog so I was stuck eating what was on my plate.

Today there is so much selection and abundance and dessert choice that people are now trying to come up with categories under which to fall. How is a pescetarian really different from a vegetarian? Does a meat and potatotarian need a vegetable at every meal? Does including a vegetable change under which category he falls? What do you call someone who eats breakfast for dinner? How about someone who likes to grill out? Is he a charcolarian or a gas grillian? And what about the guy who loves leftovers? Does that make him a leftoverian (and can I print that)?

Stop! Stop! It's too much! I say we go back to the old system. If I eat, I'm hungry. If I don't eat, I'm not hungry. If my son refuses his green peas, he is picky and doesn't really want chocolate pudding for dessert. Oh, I'm wrong. He loves his peas and would also like some pudding, please.

If we have to keep all these newfangled categories then I am proud to say that I am a dinoutarian (this is not a type of dinosaur). I only eat at restaurants. Check, please!