When I worked in South Bend, there was this little 9-hole course on the campus of Notre Dame. The course had been there for decades and the story goes that Knute Rockne, the legendary Irish football coach used to play there. Heck, I had to play that course.

Before teeing off, I was talking with the groundskeeper, a retired priest from Dublin, and told him how big a fan I am of both Rockne and the Irish. An hour or so later, when I was struggling to get out of a trap, he drove by in a cart. "Laddie," he began in his brogue. "I know you be liking Coach Rockne, but I promise ya that no matter how deep you dig you're not a going to find him under there."

A good golfer I'm not.

That's OK, I don't have to be good to tell you about a great golf outing that's coming up in a little less than a month. The Montgomery United Fund For You Charity Golf Scramble is set to tee up on Sept. 18 at the beautiful Crawfordsville Country Club. A modest fee of $60 buys you 18 holes, a cart and lunch.

More than that though, the money goes to help one of Montgomery County's most important charities. Why? Is it because MUFFY is more important than the Family Crisis Shelter? The Boys & Girls Club? Youth Service Bureau? No, of course not. But the money that goes to MUFFY helps out each one of those organizations, in addition to helping ASI, the Boy Scouts, the Girl Scouts, CARA, Community Chest, Head Start, Peers, Red Cross, Salvation Army, Sunshine Vans, Mental Health, Willson Family Preschool and Youth Camps.

Heck, how much of a better deal can anyone get? Pay $60 to play some golf and get some good eats while helping a whole lot of people?

Besides, if enough of you sign up the field will be full and there'll be no chance that I'll play. If we live in a right and just world, the MUFFY honchos will stop me from playing. I really am that bad. Pete Rose holds the record for most hits in baseball at 4,256. Rose played a little more than 20 years. I got that many hits in less than 50 rounds of golf. Heck, forget the MUFFY honchos. CCC head man Rob McCormick probably won't let me play on his course.

I spend so much time in the bunker that people ask me if I'm in the military.

Back to the important stuff - supporting MUFFY.

Let's say you have an important event that day - like work that you can't sneak away from. You can still get in on the fun by being a green sponsor for only $100. Or, you could be a tee sponsor for $50. Heck, you can support MUFFY by getting your name in the program for only $25.

Mike Utterback is the outstanding chair of this year's outing. He's had a lot of good help from Vicki Jones at the MUFFY office. Contact Mike or Vicki to play. The easiest might be Vicki at vicki@muffyforyou.org. You can also call her at the MUFFY office, 362-5484.

Please call her. Maybe if they have enough golfers I won't be able to. I know, I know, you're thinking, is he really that bad? Know anyone else who often yells fore . . . after a putt? I did just miss a hole-in-one one time by only three strokes.

Save me, please. Sign up for the MUFFY golf outing. Fill the field and keep the CCC course safe from me. Rob McCormick and his groundskeeper would appreciate it.