Hammer asks about gay marriage
Monday, August 26, 2013 10:00 PM
I hate how John Hammer can sneak up on me. One minute it's a quiet Saturday morning in a fairly deserted office and then next I'm jumping high enough to make America's Funniest Home Videos. Not a good thing for a guy with a heart condition.
Two cents, which is about how much Timmons said his columns are worth, appears periodically on Tuesdays in The Paper. Timmons is the publisher of The Paper and can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Truth to tell, it had been a while since I had seen my friend, the Hammer. In fact, several readers had asked when they were going to read about him again. So when he showed up Saturday morning, abnormally quiet for such a large man, he was a welcome sight . . . sort of.
"John, how in the world do you get up here when the place is locked and how are you so danged quiet?"
He ignored my question.
"I heard that gay marriage is going to be a big deal with our state lawmakers," he said.
"That's right," I answered. "Indiana has a law that says it only recognizes a marriage between a man and a woman and-"
"Then what in the world are they talking about?" he boomed.
"Whether or not it should be part of the state's constitution and-"
"Why is it any of their business?"
"Well John, a marriage is a legal contract. I mean you have to get a license from the state to get married and-"
"That's the start of the problem," he interrupted again.
"What do you mean?" I asked kind of quickly before I got cut off again.
"I mean that the state shouldn't be involved with marriage to begin with. If I understand it, there's nothing in the U.S. Constitution about marriage. This isn't about government. It's like selling beer or cars on Sundays. Why does the government regulate that?"
"You're asking me?"
"Indiana has a part-time general assembly because we don't need lawmakers working full time," he said. "They seem to think that being in Indianapolis means they have to pass a law. I'd like to see some of them go over there with the intention of finding laws to eliminate. Now that would be a campaign promise that would get my support."
I had nothing.
"I tell you, Timmons, we get this crap shoved down our throats to the point where everyone is sick to death of it. So then everyone's mad at the government so they quit going to the polls. Then we end up with idiots getting elected because too many of the folks who still have some common sense left stayed home."
I wasn't sure what that had to do with gay marriage, so I asked.
"Why the hell should I care who gets married?" he exploded. "It's none of my business what two people do, so long as they don't do it in a way that affects me."
"Well, John, isn't it a religious issue, then?" I asked.
"Maybe, but I guess that'd depend on what church you go to. And that's a church thing, Timmons. Last time I looked, the church and the state were supposed to stay separate."
He had a point.
"So John, I'm kind of unclear here. Are you in favor of allowing marriage to be re-defined so it doesn't necessarily have to be just between a man and a woman?"
"I'm in favor of the government getting the hell out of my life every chance it gets, Timmons. That's exactly what I'm in favor of."
With that, he turned and left. He made his point.