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home : columnists : dick wolfsie April 16, 2014


It was a Net fix
My wife and I went on a binge last week. If you think I'm talking about an eating binge, you've never seen how skinny we are . . .
Saturday, April 12, 2014
These magazines are makin' bacon
Why do I write so many columns poking fun at magazines? I have akewered Handyman magazine, Storage Solutions and Muscle Fitness, to name a few. This is because each month when I go to refill my cholesterol medicines at the pharmacy I have to walk past the periodical display. I need a distraction, so I grab something off the shelf, plop down in the corner and read it cover to cover. This annoys the store manager who tells me to get up off my fatty acids or I won't get my Lipitor.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Wolfsie is taking to the written word
As a column writer, I can share my real-life experiences with countless people. This is much more rewarding than when I try to tell a story firsthand to friends.
Friday, February 21, 2014
It's a world of difference
My wife and I were staring at our bookcase the other day. We used to refer to it as an entertainment center, but the cassette player broke, so now we're just calling it like it is.
Friday, February 7, 2014
The world of snow removal
I do not have a snow blower. And I refuse to buy one. My neighbors all have snow blowers and it looks like they are having so much fun. I don't know why they don't just plow on over to my house and enjoy themselves. The coffee is always on.
Friday, January 31, 2014
Can't have too much storage space
The other day at the supermarket the periodical display was chock-full of all these splashy publications-so many, in fact, that one bundle had remained unopened due to a shortage of space on the rack. Curious, I tore back the brown wrapping of the package and there it was: Storage Solutions. Yes, that's right: there was not enough room on the shelves to include this magazine.
Friday, January 24, 2014
Open says me . . . if only it was that easy
Everything I bought my wife for Christmas had to be returned. Wrong size, wrong color, too expensive, too cheap. You name it, I blew it. On the other hand, I am keeping everything she got for me. Not because my wife has such exquisite taste (although she does), but because I totally destroyed the boxes when I opened the gifts.
Friday, January 17, 2014


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