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home : columnists : columnists April 16, 2014

1/29/2014 2:00:00 AM
Dinner texts are good for the heart
Ginger is an author, speaker, and mother of five. Find her on Facebook (Ginger Truitt Author), Twitter (@GingerTruitt), website . Or contact at

By Ginger Truitt

There is a picture floating around on Facebook of a couple sitting in a restaurant, staring at the screens on their phones. Thousands of people have commented, pronouncing judgment on everything from the condition of the couple's relationship to the state of our society.

Back in 1992, I was a Shoney's waitress. And, I might add, a darn good one! I still occasionally show the kids my highly coveted Shoney Bear pin, awarded for consistently providing excellent service. I was also a young mother who, while working in a restaurant, rarely had the time or finances to actually eat in one. So, when a local television personality brought his wife in for lunch, I was appalled that he spent so much time on his gargantuan cell phone. She ate her burger while silently going over paperwork. He ran back and forth from the salad bar, discussing important matters with the faceless entity on the other end of the line. She didn't seem unhappy, and they didn't stay long, but in my mind, they had wasted precious date time.

Fast forward to today. I don't share the opinions of those making negative comments about the couple on Facebook, and I no longer hold the television personality in low esteem. You see, that couple at the table could very well have been me and hubby. Eating in restaurants has become the norm rather than the exception in our lives. When we go out to lunch or dinner, it's typically because we are hungry, not because we are looking to spend special time together.

However, that time often becomes special because of our cell phones. Now, I know you are going to say I am making excuses for my social media addiction, but you don't know the whole story. It's no secret that after 25 years together, it becomes increasingly more difficult to think of things to talk about over dinner. Especially considering we run a business together, so we are only apart if one of us has to pee, and even then being alone isn't guaranteed. There isn't much in our lives that the other doesn't already know about. So, when we are grabbing lunch, we often sit with a sandwich in one hand and a phone in the other.

Hubby will laugh, "Did you see what Uncle Dan just posted?"

I click over to Uncle Dan's Facebook page, and we laugh together, and think up clever responses.

I exclaim, "Oh my goodness! Did you see that Cousin Amy is pregnant with her ninth child?"

"No way!" hubby will respond, and then we spend the next five minutes trying to remember the names of her first eight children, and discussing the pros and cons of large families.

Suddenly, a swooshing noise emanates from both of our phones. One of our five kids has texted us, and has also included her siblings in the conversation. With two in college, and one living as an exchange student in Australia, our family hasn't been under one roof since August. It will be at least mid-June before we are together again. Communicating in a group texting session is a great privilege, and one I do not take lightly. The next thing you know, hubby and I are laughing with the kids, and with each other. I miss bantering with them in the kitchen, but this is the next best thing. I'm not going to miss it so that I can gaze into hubby's eyes over a buffalo wrap and sweet potato fries.

So, if you see us out, and we are on our phones, don't assume that our relationship is in the toilet. Sometimes, we are even teasing each other with little messages that wouldn't be acceptable to speak in public. The only people you really need to feel sorry for are our children. We have been known to accidentally send those little messages as a family text.

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