Like a lot of you, I remember July 20, 1969 pretty well. A bunch of folks gathered to watch the historic event unfold on TV. Sure, the picture wasn’t that great, but TVs weren’t either back then. Didn’t matter. We watched. And beamed. Man had taken a giant leap. My grandfather, who was born in the 1890s, joined a small group of people who could say they saw transportation go from horse and buggy to spaceships that landed on the moon.
It was something.
Now, with that historic event just days away from its golden 50 year anniversary, I wonder what it would be like if that took place today instead?
Let’s see, it would start with President Donald Trump giving a speech. “We choose to go to the moon. We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because I want to do them, and let me tell you, it will be the greatest thing you’ve ever seen. That I can tell you.”
Immediately afterward, AOC would tweet: “OMG! When the president says we are going to go to the moon I am sure what he really is doing is building concentration camps there, like, you know, he does everywhere. Besides, it’s a proven scientific fact that the moon has an atmosphere that is like dangerous for human beings so I don’t think we can go. The air around the moon just isn’t good and it’s because of the global warming that the Republicans have caused. Those emissions have blown all the way to the moon and our astronauts would have trouble breathing up there. Besides, do you know how much money NASA spends? We could pay off all my debts, uh, I mean student debts and give everyone free healthcare and free tuition and free cars and bunnies. I like bunnies.”
Soon after, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi would be doing a sit-down interview with CNN’s Don Lemon.
Lemon: “Clearly Donald Trump is trying to channel his inner Hitler and is laying out his plan for taking over the world. Speaker Pelosi, what kind of terrible position does this put you and the other legitimate lawmakers in?”
Pelosi: “Well Don, I’m glad you asked. The Democratic Party believes that anything this president does is solely for his personal benefit. Someone said to me the other day that a mission to the moon would help our scientists find advances in medicine, in science and in new technologies that we don’t even know about yet. But, and this is the important point, we don’t care. We simply cannot allow Donald Trump to stay another moment in the White House or else he will find ways to turn all of that into his advantage.”
Then Lemon, in a rare moment of common sense, says: “But Speaker Pelosi, wouldn’t that be good for the country?”
Pelosi: “Not if Trump did it! No! Not Trump! Not him! Never! Never Trump!”
The pack of presidential pretenders . . . sorry, contenders, would be all over social media as well.
Mayor Pete: “Is this really going to help us get along as a nation, as a people, as a community, as a neighborhood, as friends . . . in a block party . . . where we all sing?”
Kamala: “Guys! Guys! The American people don’t want us to send astronauts to the moon. They want to send us. All of us.”
Bernie: “This is just another ploy by the elite wealthy who only care about keeping the middle class down. They will never let the middle class up or stop getting rich off their backs!”
Voice in the crowd: “But Bernie, aren’t you part of the elite wealthy?”
Crickets.
Biden: “You know, back when I was a young man I used to work with the man in the moon. We would debate during the day and then that night go have a steak dinner at the Capital Grille.”
More crickets.
Beto O’Rourke and Cory Booker talked, but no one cared enough to listen.
At the end of it all, NASA did not get the funding and the moon program was canceled. A national poll found that 97 percent of Americans were in favor of a bold moon mission. But Congress decided it was more important to create a committee to study convening hearings to consider whether or not hearings should be held to determine if a hearing was necessary to try to impeach the president.

Two cents, which is about how much Timmons said his columns are worth, appears periodically on Wednesdays in The Paper. Timmons is the publisher of The Paper and can be contacted at ttimmons@thepaper24-7.com.