‘Twas the Tuesday before Christmas but don’t go too far
There are plenty of presents you can get at Big R

Little eyes are prying as we worry about stealth
That’s why we trust friendly Franciscan Health

That big nasty dent on the car has you cooled,
No worries you see, take it over to Gould

If trouble is hearing your elves on the phone
Then C’ville Audiology, Miracle Ear or Beltone

Need a place to stay for the ailing, dear sir?
See Lane House, Wellbrooke, Williamsburg or Ben Hur

If it’s diamonds and gold and magic you seek,
Stroll down Washington quick and turn into Creek

For your money and savings and maybe a CD
Try Tri-County, Fountain Trust and HHSB.

Is a new house needed for living and fun?
There’s Re / Max and the folks at Davis Morrison

What about guns and keys and safes with low fees
Call Reed right quick at Haley’s Lock Safe and Key

When things break down as they sometimes will
NAPA, Surb’s, Jeff Neal and Pomp’s know the drill

If learning’s your thing or you just don’t give a heck
We have Wabash of course and ol’ Ivy Tech

Oh Santa please tell me who else to go and see
Oh, Kessco, Amerigas and Terresa Hatke

There’s Phantoms of Point and Tech that is Rahm
And Pools of Pettit and insurance of Tom
(JM Thompson, that is. Best I could do.)

Autos at York, Etter, Christy and Horner
Then for your home find Zahn’s and Kitchen Korner

Need something deep dug then Maxwell has drains
Travis has furniture and Witham relieves pains

Brothers is good – we’ll meet you at Arni’s
Applebee’s, Wings, Little Mexico, si?

Before we are done we can’t forget Clore
And Healthcliff and Froedge’s and Tanning Hut more

There’s Servicemaster, New Ross Grain & CEL&P,
Burkhart, Davidson’s and Tipmont REMC

Millers and Maze and Taylor attorneys
Harwood and Hunt and Gaby’s great fees

We can’t forget Athens for exercise plus
Then visit St. Bernard’s because we did cuss

You can tell our friends of that they are many
From Clos to Boots and Vice, Mr. Kenny

We appreciate patience with rhymes home sown
That were so bad you must’ve stifled a groan

So Santa go fast, trail the sleigh with a vapor
Merry Christmas to all from your pals at The Paper

Two cents, which is about how much Timmons said his columns are worth, appears periodically on Tuesdays in The Paper. Timmons is the publisher of The Paper and can be contacted at ttimmons@thepaper24-7.com.