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Thursday, August 5, 2021
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  • Losing your items and mind while you’re moving
    Monday, August 2, 2021 4:00 AM
    I’m not sure when a house becomes a home, but I don’t think we’re quite there yet.
    My husband, Peter, and I have moved into the new place. All our stuff is here, but that doesn’t mean we know where anything is.
    “Have you seen the strainer?”
    “Which strainer?”
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  • Six dogs at our bittersweet going-away party
    Monday, July 19, 2021 4:00 AM
    It was a good party. 
    Of course you would expect me to say that, since it was our going-away party and I am bound to be biased. But there were six dogs and plenty of food and lots of laughter and some tears and even a little barking and if that doesn’t qualify as a good party, I don’t know what does. 
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  • Looking back on good memories held in walls
    Monday, July 12, 2021 4:00 AM
    My husband, Peter, is looking around our empty living room.
    “I’ll always have good memories of this place.”
    “I will too,” I assure him. 
    We are packing up the last of our possessions and heading across the country in a few days. We won’t be coming back.
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  • Sometimes no news is the best kind of news
    Monday, July 5, 2021 4:00 AM
    Tanner wasn’t waiting for me at the fence yesterday.
    Dakota and Tanner, my two oldest dogs, are always waiting for me at the chain-link fence. Dakota can’t hear and doesn’t see well, so she stays close to the fence in the afternoon when I walk by in order to collect her treat. Tanner really can’t see or hear at all, so he keeps close to Dakota. Yesterday he wasn’t there. 
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  • Having no time to spare or slow down and rest
    Monday, June 28, 2021 4:00 AM
    "Do you have time for this?" my husband, Peter, asked.
    Peter almost never questions what I'm doing unless I'm doing something particularly stupid. Yesterday, I had a meeting on Zoom. I figured I could finish my work, take my walk early, then run downtown and get my errands done all in time for my meeting. 
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  • Being used to living in homes of dead people
    Tuesday, June 22, 2021 4:00 AM
    A cousin of mine reportedly said, “I can’t imagine living in a house where other people have lived!” 
    I don’t know if she really said this, as I heard the story secondhand. But it stuck in my mind because every home I’ve owned has been lived in by other people, and a few people have died in them as well. So far, this has not bothered me in the least.
    I’m used to living in the homes of dead people. 
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  • Best wishes and letting go of harbored feelings
    Monday, June 14, 2021 4:00 AM
    I just learned that my ex-husband has remarried. I learned this as we learn about all important life milestones these days: on Facebook. 
    There were photos taken in the Caribbean. My ex-husband and his new bride were walking barefoot on the beach. She was carrying her shoes and their feet were wet and probably the most surprising thing to me was how sincerely I wished them well. 
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  • Sometimes all you need is a change of scenery
    Monday, June 7, 2021 4:00 AM
    The old wooden folding table belonged to my grandma. I don’t remember her ever using it.
    After she moved out of her house and into a retirement home, my sister inherited the table, but she didn’t use it much either. The table has four wooden folding chairs that tuck beneath it and the whole thing rolls on casters. My husband, Peter, and I are moving to be closer to family and we don’t have a serviceable table for our new place. 
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  • Don’t need the fanciest desk in the world - just need mine
    Monday, May 31, 2021 4:00 AM
    Everyone knows that I am attached to my desk. I would argue I have good reason. My desk is an extension of myself. Whereas other people are attached to their phones, I frequently lose track of mine. (Just writing this made me wonder where it was. Don’t worry; I found it.) My desk is my home inside my home. 
    I hear about people working from their couch or from their kitchen table or even from their bed and I cannot imagine it.
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  • Happily being known as the Treat Lady
    Monday, May 24, 2021 4:00 AM
    Tanner and Dakota are waiting for me. 
    They’re standing at the corner of their chain-link fence, watching the sidewalk. They know I’m coming, even if they don’t know exactly when, even if they can’t see the sidewalk very well and can’t hear at all. 
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  • Permission to chew out those we love
    Monday, May 17, 2021 4:00 AM
    It is a well-known fact that we are allowed to chew out the people we care about. Most recently, this came to mind when I gave my old friend, Andrew, a serious tongue-lashing.  
    Andrew is a lifelong bachelor, and a committed curmudgeon. He is better than most curmudgeons at being curmudgeonly because he started young. Andrew showed signs of being a grumpy old man when he was still in his 30s. But Andrew is no longer in his 30s, and this is what brought us to our recent conflict. 
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  • New systems can lead to new compromises
    Monday, May 10, 2021 4:00 AM
    I finished my bath and saw that the rust-orange towel had molted all over my body. 
    I was covered with tufts of orange fur. It was not a good look, and it felt worse than it looked. Worse yet, it gave me a taste of what the next two months would be like. 
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  • Opening the last box and moving memories
    Monday, May 3, 2021 4:00 AM
    “Oh my gosh. I don’t want to open that box.”
    Moving furniture and books and clothing is easy. It’s moving memories that is hard. 
    I am going through the last of my boxes. I used to say I was not a packrat. I thought I was more like my mother than my dad. My dad might tuck a piece of wood away, thinking it would find a use someday. My mother would be of the opinion that it’s easier to buy a board when (and if) it was needed. Generally, it wasn’t. 
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  • Dealing with nocturnal negotiations nightly
    Monday, April 19, 2021 4:00 AM
    It’s amazing that anyone shares a bed. 
    I know there are plenty of married and cohabiting couples who have separate beds, or even separate bedrooms, and I can see the logic in avoiding the snoring, the thrashing, the different sleep schedules and the need to negotiate the complicated issue of bedding. 
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  • Sister-in-law, Lori, went out like a lion
    Monday, April 12, 2021 4:00 AM
    March is winding down and my sister-in-law, Lori, is going with it.  
    There is too much food and too many flowers because that is what we do when someone is dying, when we don’t know what else to do as, gradually, the unthinkable becomes accepted and even ordinary. We make more food and bring more flowers. But there is too little time. There is always too little time. 
    Lori is spending most of the time she has left sleeping, which means she is not in pain but also that no one can talk with her and we miss her already, while she is here among us. 
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The Paper of Montgomery County,
a division of Sagamore News Media 
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Crawfordsville, Indiana 47933

 

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