Dear President Biden . . .

By Tim Timmons

A couple of years ago I wrote President Trump with a few ideas and suggestions. You know, things like, oh I don’t know, stop breaking his arm patting himself on the back . . . and stop being an insufferable ass. I told him I thought he was doing a good job running the country, but suggested that his overbearing attitude was wearing thin. I’m sure he’s a smart guy, but for some reason he chose to ignore the friendly advice. And, well, he managed to lose to a guy who probably had no business being elected. But I guess you already know that.

So, as my President, I respectfully say thank you for your service. I will fight to the death our way of life and the process by which you won.

To be perfectly frank, I did not vote for you, but I can’t be one of those who disrespect the process because their candidate lost. I guess I was lucky. I was raised by good parents and educated by teachers and coaches who taught us to stand up straight and offer a handshake when the game was over, win or lose. If you didn’t win, the lesson was work harder – not whine and cry all the way home.

Sorry, I guess I got off subject there a little – but the last year or so is wearing some of us out. We are trying, trying very hard, to be good citizens, but it’s tough sometimes with the petty politics being played – and Sir, it’s not your party specifically. There’s plenty of blame to go around. Here’s an example – and I think, given your background, you’ll like this one. Republicans lost their minds over how unfairly former White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was treated . . . and yet, those same people are ruthless when it comes to your Press Secretary Jen Psaki. The hypocrisy is astounding – yet, unfortunately, no longer surprising.

I know you are busy, so let me get to the point. To be clear, I’m not dwelling on the $1.2 trillion infrastructure deal that contains so much pork it ought to be sponsored by Bob Evans sausage.

No sir, I am writing about your recent idea to pay parents who have been separated from their children while immigrating to our fair land. It’s unclear to me if you are referring to those who have come here legally, or illegally, but the bigger point is, Sir, it doesn’t matter.

I applaud your idea to right a wrong. We all pray to the Man upstairs that no parent should ever lose a child, and we ask for His help when some do. It’s a pain, a tragedy, a horror beyond words.

However, and again, thank you for stepping up and caring, I think your plan may well have unintended consequences. It’s a bit like when you took office and tried to distance yourself as far as possible from your predecessor’s stance on immigration. I get that (don’t agree, but get it). In the process of telling everyone that we are the land of plenty all you really did was create a gigantic problem where none needed to exist. Now we have chaos at our southern border and you handed your political opponents enough ammunition to shoot down a few Democratic gubernatorial candidates.

Unintended consequences.

So back to this idea you’ve got. Forget the fact that there are American parents who have lost a child and weren’t compensated with hundreds of thousands of dollars. Forget the fact that it’s going to be tough to prove who is who – it’s not like you’ve got birth records of foreign countries at your fingertips. Heck, even forget the fact that you’ve got VP Harris “in charge” of the border situation – a strategy, I’m sure, that has worked out exactly like you planned (wink, wink).

All you need to think about, respectfully, is the image of a smirking Donald Trump’s face on a poster with the words, “Miss Me Yet?” Unless you want a few million Americans to answer yes, you might want to rethink this one.

Two cents, which is about how much Timmons said his columns are worth, appears periodically on Wednesdays in The Paper. Timmons is the publisher of The Paper and can be contacted at