The Sage of Being Wolfsie’s Phone

Hi! This is Dick Wolfsie’s newest cell phone. The old phone talked to you many years ago, but since I have taken over the job, I wanted to update everyone on how things are going. Now that Dick is retired, I figured things would be easy compared to previous years when he was running around…

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We’re Eggo Maniacs!

My wife and I did not go to the State Fair this year. It was the first time we missed it (other than the two affected by COVID closures) since we moved to Indiana in 1982.  Mary Ellen’s favorite thing is going to the poultry barn to see the baby chicks. I love to get…

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The Sound Of Silence!

My column this week has been prompted by two events. First was the recent 20th anniversary of the passing of my beagle, Barney, who accompanied me on more than 2,500 TV segments between 1991 and 2002. And second, that I have finally agreed with my wife (and all my friends) that I need to invest…

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Clean Sweep!

We recently bought a new vacuum cleaner. We shopped around and decided to purchase an Oreck. Two weeks later, we got this email from the company: Dear Mr. and Mrs. Wolfsie, Thank you for buying a new Oreck. We hope it brings you many years of vacuuming pleasure. Please call us today about hosting an…

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Goodbye, Barney

I lost my best friend this week. And my business partner. Barney was 12 (or 13 or 14). I never knew his exact age. He was a street kid who wandered onto my doorstep looking for a better life. He found it. And I found the world’s greatest dog. But he was never a good…

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Have You Herd Of G.O.A.T.s?

Want to know who the G.O.A.T. is (The Greatest of All Time) for any particular endeavor? If you google G.O.A.T. for baseball announcers, there is little disagreement.  Number one is Vin Scully. Scully passed away recently at the age of 94. He called Dodgers games for 67 years, both in Brooklyn and L.A. He wasn’t…

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I’ve Got A Running Total

“Where are you?” asked my wife when she called me on my cell phone one afternoon. “I’m in Walmart,” I answered. “Oh. Are you running errands?” “No, just running…or jogging, to be more precise. Running in the aisles is not permitted. I just heard a mother say that to her kid.” “Why are you doing…

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Permission Has Been Granted

My church’s men’s group recently had a discussion about who was the boss in our homes.  Many of the members had never thought about it and didn’t know how to respond. I told them I was sure I was the boss, but I wanted to check with my wife to see if she agreed with…

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600 Words To The Wise!

MONDAY: People sometimes ask me if I can finish a column in one sitting (like I do with Denny’s Grand Slam breakfast) or if I dabble with it, like my wife’s spinach soufflé. I’ve used both methods, but the pressure of completing a story in one day has taken its toll. I’m not as young…

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Base Behavior

Did you read the story about the father and son who attended a professional baseball game together and in the fifth inning rushed the field and beat the pulp out of the first-base coach? One of the excuses offered by the father was that the first-base coach was making obscene gestures. Had these guys never…

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