Present Company Included

The Hammacher Schlemmer Christmas ’22 gift catalog just arrived! It’s the longest-running mail-order retailer of its kind, its pages filled with unique (if not quirky) selections. Here are some of my favorite choices. Who knows, maybe this holiday you will receive… John Wayne’s Canvas Rancher Jacket: This hand-crafted canvas jacket features a notched corduroy collar.…

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Now Hear This

I had my hearing tested recently and this week I got my new hearing aids. My wife has been bugging me to do this for a long time. I heard her, but I wasn’t really listening. Hearing loss runs in my family. My grandmother was born nearly deaf. When she finally got hearing aids in…

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Mary Ellen In Jeopardy

Mary Ellen and I watch “Jeopardy,” and the other evening we discussed how Ken Jennings chats with the contestants, giving each one an open-ended question to prompt a funny or interesting personal story. Mary Ellen feared that if she ever got on the show, she’d have trouble coming up with five entertaining anecdotes, assuming she…

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Don’t Click Here, Please ***

Mary Ellen and I promised each other that during our recent vacation we would not check our emails. At dinner each night, we conversed and learned a great deal about each other, things that have happened to each of us since we got our first cell phones in 1990. When we returned home, we eagerly…

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Clean Sweep!

We recently bought a new vacuum cleaner. We shopped around and decided to purchase an Oreck. Two weeks later, we got this email from the company: Dear Mr. and Mrs. Wolfsie, Thank you for buying a new Oreck. We hope it brings you many years of vacuuming pleasure. Please call us today about hosting an…

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Goodbye, Barney

I lost my best friend this week. And my business partner. Barney was 12 (or 13 or 14). I never knew his exact age. He was a street kid who wandered onto my doorstep looking for a better life. He found it. And I found the world’s greatest dog. But he was never a good…

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Have You Herd Of G.O.A.T.s?

Want to know who the G.O.A.T. is (The Greatest of All Time) for any particular endeavor? If you google G.O.A.T. for baseball announcers, there is little disagreement.  Number one is Vin Scully. Scully passed away recently at the age of 94. He called Dodgers games for 67 years, both in Brooklyn and L.A. He wasn’t…

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I’ve Got A Running Total

“Where are you?” asked my wife when she called me on my cell phone one afternoon. “I’m in Walmart,” I answered. “Oh. Are you running errands?” “No, just running…or jogging, to be more precise. Running in the aisles is not permitted. I just heard a mother say that to her kid.” “Why are you doing…

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Permission Has Been Granted

My church’s men’s group recently had a discussion about who was the boss in our homes.  Many of the members had never thought about it and didn’t know how to respond. I told them I was sure I was the boss, but I wanted to check with my wife to see if she agreed with…

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600 Words To The Wise!

MONDAY: People sometimes ask me if I can finish a column in one sitting (like I do with Denny’s Grand Slam breakfast) or if I dabble with it, like my wife’s spinach soufflé. I’ve used both methods, but the pressure of completing a story in one day has taken its toll. I’m not as young…

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