Is Biden Actually Older Than Your Average Joe?

The conversation at my favorite breakfast diner was already in full stride by the time I wandered in. It seems that most major news sources were reporting that President Biden was assuring friends and colleagues that he was running for re-election in 2024, despite his age and his relative unpopularity. “The real story,” Eddie stated…

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Please Lemme Get Through the Holidays

There are two kinds of Holiday traditions. There are those which transcend our individual fami-lies, and are shared by entire communities of people –– like putting up a Christmas tree, spin-ning the dreidel, or playing Jingle Bell Rock. Then there are other traditions which are solely confined within the family. For instance, my step-cousins always…

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Sometimes Life Comes Down To A Simple ‘Doink’

Every time a National Football League placekicker lines up to kick a field goal, my friend Brian cringes. This holds true for college and high school field goal kicking, too, but his attention is most frequently focused on the professionals. You see, Brian believes that field goal kickers are getting robbed. I was over at…

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12 Angry Pilgrims (Reach A Settlement)

“All rise! The case of Chief Ousamequin of the Wampanoag Indians v. The Pilgrims is now in session. The honorable Willie B. Upright presiding.” Judge Upright: “Before I discharge you to the Jury Room, I want to remind jurors that there is to be no discussion of this case beyond this courtroom.” Juror Five: “Does…

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Wanda Get Your Gun

Deer hunting season opened this week. To some, those six words trigger the same autonomic response as waving a liver and onions blue plate special under Hannibal Lecter’s nose. After spending months waiting, an army of glassy-eyed hunters is charging into local fields and forests with enough firepower to topple Honduras. They are toting tree…

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Hangin’ At Ol’ Merle’s Barbershop

I don’t really remember who cut my hair the first time. I’m certain that I cried, because I still do. My first haircut outside the home was likely at Ol’ Merle Wininger’s barbershop on Iowa Street in my hometown. I’m not sure why I mention Merle’s being on Iowa Street, except that I always marveled…

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The True Story of ‘Hi When’

Not terribly long ago, I had the opportunity to walk around the campus of my alma mater. I wasn’t expecting to meet anyone. It was the middle of summer, and the whole place was deserted. The likelihood of a chance encounter in this academic ghost town was implausible. So when I walked by the tennis…

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A ‘Brief’ Near-Death Experience

I don’t know if this is a curse or a blessing, but I’m pretty certain I know how I’m going to die. I can hear the coroner’s pen scratching now: Cause of Death: Extermination by Underwear. I figure it would only be manslaughter. I don’t think my underwear have it in for me, but who…

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Putting Backspin On A Mouse

There’s a mouse in my pantry . . . and he might just be staying there. Living with the countryside right out my back door, it really isn’t strange that a mouse has set up lodgings inside the cozy confines of my larder. In fact, I count on it happening two times each year. For…

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