A Column About Column A

I do a lot of dumb things. But I have no regrets, because these missteps often end up as an inspiration for one of my columns.  I do not do dumb things on purpose. That would be, well,…dumb. One of the dumbest things I ever did was about four years ago when Mary Ellen and…

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High On Humor

Over the years, several of my sports heroes have had their careers tarnished following allegations they were using performance-improvement drugs. During the recent Olympics, several athletes were similarly accused. As a newspaper columnist, I am proud of what I have written, unassisted by any humor-enhancing drugs or whimsy-producing substances. Many humor columnists have on their…

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The Last Time I Saw Harris

I almost deleted the e-mail, thinking it was spam, but lately I have nothing else to do, so I read everything. I didn’t recognize the sender’s address but I clicked on it, anyway. Maybe it was some rich guy in Uganda who wanted to send me a million dollars—after I send him $5,000 for shipping…

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Lip Smacking Column

The Paper of Montgomery County

Valentine’s Day stresses me out.  I never know what to buy for my wife. The worst part is looking for the perfect card. I’ve lurked on the holiday aisle at the Hallmark store, waiting until some guy about my age laughed at a particular punch line. If there was another one of those cards in…

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You Have My Back

The Paper of Montgomery County

I’m a lucky guy. I have three great physical therapists. They treat me well from my top to my bottom. Literally. And I have a fine orthopedic surgeon. They are all busy with me lately. Three of the PT’s, Anna, Bri and Don, are assigned to my neck, shoulders and arm, and the other PT,…

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Degree in marketing

The Paper of Montgomery County

I’m in a lot of trouble. I tried to sneak in the back door without my wife seeing me, but I got caught with you-know-what on my breath: salami. Yes, I had been out carousing. At Kroger. Ever since Covid started, my wife prefers that we not go into stores, but instead pick up food…

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NUMBER, PLEASE

The Paper of Montgomery County

I’d like to share a few numbers with you: 4927262920202826 5736282018082727 9284748495483838 These are some of the tracking numbers for the Christmas gifts I bought online over the past few months. I copied and pasted the figures into the UPS or FedEx websites to be sure they were on the way. By the way, those…

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Wolfsies ask themselves if they’ve seen this show before

The Paper of Montgomery County

My wife and I were starting to watch a Netflix series when I said: “This looks familiar. Have we seen it before?” “I’m not sure, Dick. But if we have seen it, I don’t want to watch another eight episodes. That would be a big waste of time.” “But I don’t remember how it ends,…

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Wolfsie talks of surfing the internet ’til you drop

The Paper of Montgomery County

I did something this year for the first time in the history of my 40-year marriage. I guess I was going through a kind of (late) mid-life crisis and I needed a little novelty in my life. I had heard that unless I was careful, I could end up with a bad virus. That was…

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Passing remarks for those who have passed on

The Paper of Montgomery County

At the end of each year, news stations recount notable people who passed away during the previous 12 months. I’d like to mention a few who meant a great deal to me… Baseball lost a treasure in 2021. In 1974, Henry Aaron slugged career homerun number 715, eclipsing Babe Ruth’s record after 39 years.  Aaron…

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