Trash Talking Trash

When I was a kid, after dinner we cleared the table and scraped whatever was left on our plates into a kitchen garbage bag. That bag was then dumped in one of two huge metal drums on the side of our house that were below ground. Not buried treasure: buried trash. On Mondays some guy…

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Grilling the Neighbors about Grilling

The July 4th weekend cookout is just around the corner and we are planning a barbeque with some friends at our house. That was not the original plan, but turns out we were not invited to the cookout around the corner. “Are you cooking with gas or charcoal this weekend?” asked a buddy of mine.…

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My Marriage in Jeopardy

For decades, Mary Ellen and I have been fans of the show Jeopardy.  Every night at 7:30 we watch to see how long it takes for us to feel really stupid. I often say, I used to know that but I forgot, which is pretty much the same thing as not knowing the answer…I mean…

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Meditation Repudiation

Mary Ellen and I just got back from a trip to visit my sister and brother. In my sister’s lovely condominium in Great Neck, New York, she has a little windowed room off her kitchen that’s no more than 6 by 8 feet. In that room she meditates every day, and she claims she has…

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Spreading the News

Whenever I read a newspaper article that begs to become the basis of my next humor column, I cut it out and save it.  Then I forget where I put it.  (I also do that with car titles, birth certificates, and my life insurance policy.)  But here’s one rich article I did find on my…

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More Cutting Remarks

Mary Ellen is insightful enough to know that in most of my columns I’m poking fun at myself. Take last week, for example. Wait, that’s not a good example. You see, last week, I gently chided my loving wife in my column for having no desire to mow the lawn. It was not one of…

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Cutting Remarks

I see women in my neighborhood mowing their lawns. My wife doesn’t mow our lawn. I don’t think she will ever mow the lawn. Lawn mowing season is here and it just kinda drives me crazy trying to figure out why she won’t mow the lawn. I want to ask her about this, but I…

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Let Me Sleep On It

I recently got tested to see if I had sleep apnea. Sleep disorders can be serious, but my overnight stay in a “sleep lab,” had a few lighter moments. Before leaving that evening, Mary Ellen helped me lay out a few things we thought were important to take with me, like extra underwear, a toothbrush,…

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Ala Carte

On the Wolfsie refrigerator, next to a photo of me hugging Goofy at Disney World (I was a mere 57 years old at the time) is Mary Ellen’s list of items to be purchased on her next trip to the supermarket. Needless to say, there is frequent updating, like if we consume the last of…

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Not Even Remotely Funny

You’re probably familiar with the newest TV remote control technology.  No longer do you have to “enter” the channel on the device: in many cases you can simply say what channel you want into the remote and voila! There it is on the screen. Of course, most times you will be asked to repeat yourself,…

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