Dick Wolfsie

After my 76th birthday this past week, I decided to let it all out. It’s about time people know who I really am. Here are just some of my peculiarities and idiosyncrasies.  Email me the numbers you can relate to: ([email protected]) 1. I prefer baked beans cold. 2. I buy two-piece pajama sets and throw…

At first glance, it seemed like a pretty good deal.  Enjoy a complimentary $25.00 gift card from one of the local supermarkets.  All it required was answering a few questions online. I figured it was a marketing scam. I wasn’t born yesterday. In fact, as you’ll see, I was born 100 years ago. I had…

I’ll be honest. I do not like to travel. I like being there; I don’t like getting there. As we sat in one airport waiting to board, I made the huge mistake of buying a magazine containing an article called: “Your Feel-Good Vacation.” This feature detailed all the potential woes of reaching your destination. Here…

My wife read some troubling information the other day in one of her monthly magazines. You might think the source of this bad news would be a publication like Prevention, where every page is full of things you should not be full of, like red meat, trans fat chips, cakes and pies, and sugary soft…

For the year 2023, I made 23 New Year’s resolutions. I’ve already broken every single one.  Below is my list. I resolved that… 1. In a restaurant, when the waitress sees my totally cleaned plate and asks how I enjoyed my meal, I will not say: “I didn’t like it one bit.”  According to a…

This is Part Two of my look back at 2022 with appreciation for those people, places and things that made my column possible. So, thanks… …to the cashier at Walmart who had been watching me as I jogged around the entire store several times to avoid the freezing weather and still get in my 15,000…

This kind of thing could only happen to me. (In a way, that’s good, because if things like this happened to you, you’d have your own humor column.) The other day as I got into my car and pressed the button to start the engine, my dependable sedan fired up as usual. But wait: my…

The Hammacher Schlemmer Christmas ’22 gift catalog just arrived! It’s the longest-running mail-order retailer of its kind, its pages filled with unique (if not quirky) selections. Here are some of my favorite choices. Who knows, maybe this holiday you will receive… John Wayne’s Canvas Rancher Jacket: This hand-crafted canvas jacket features a notched corduroy collar.…

I had my hearing tested recently and this week I got my new hearing aids. My wife has been bugging me to do this for a long time. I heard her, but I wasn’t really listening. Hearing loss runs in my family. My grandmother was born nearly deaf. When she finally got hearing aids in…

Mary Ellen and I watch “Jeopardy,” and the other evening we discussed how Ken Jennings chats with the contestants, giving each one an open-ended question to prompt a funny or interesting personal story. Mary Ellen feared that if she ever got on the show, she’d have trouble coming up with five entertaining anecdotes, assuming she…