Taking A Break From The Heavy Stuff

It seems a lot of my scribbles lately have been heavy on the heavy stuff. I don’t know what it is. The more I look around at the world, the more I worry for my grandpups. Still, there’s a limit as to how much I can rant and rave, and most certainly on how much you are willing to read.

So let’s lighten up a bit this week, shall we?

One of our readers was kind enough to send me an e-mail with a bunch of thought-provoking and smile-inducing images and words. I take no credit for any of these, but they are certainly worth sharing. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

I’m old enough to remember when paper bags were being blamed for the destruction of the trees – and plastic bags were the solution.

Kind of makes you wonder what “common wisdom” will tell us in 40 or so years, doesn’t it?

I’m so old I remember when multiplication was called “Times Tables.”

Oh, me too! And I remember even more a few nuns at Our Lady of Grace losing patience with one young moron, uh, me, who couldn’t seem to grasp the table involving sevens!

I’m so old that when I was a kid we actually had to win to get a trophy.

Sadly, that no longer means you’re THAT old!

When I was a kid I didn’t need an Elf on the Shelf to motivate me during Christmas time. I had a belt on the shelf that motivated me to behave the whole year through.

Didn’t we all!

Some of y’all never held a flashlight for your dad when he was working on the car . . . and had him yell at you for not shining it in the right place. And it shows.

What I wouldn’t give to have another day of working on the car in the garage with my dad, or my grandpa.

This one just has a picture of an old man and a young kid walking arm in arm and says: Spend time with your elders. Not everything can be found on Google.

Amen!

Y’all enjoy those 20s, 30s and 40s, because in your 50s that check engine light is gonna come on.

Amen, again!

If Jesus tried to feed the 5,000 today, he’d hear: I can’t eat fish. I’m vegan. Is that bread gluten free? Has the fish been tested for mercury?

It’d be funny if it weren’t the truth.

One minute you’re 21, staying up all night drinking beer, eating pizza and doing sketchy stuff just for fun. Then in the blink of an eye, you’re 50, drinking water, eating kale and you can’t do any sketchy stuff because you pulled a muscle putting on your socks.

Those pulled muscles hurt!

I survived playing in the mud, getting spanked, rusty playgrounds, second-hand smoke, toy guns, lead paint, no seatbelts, no helmets and drinking from the hose?

And most of those things were pretty darn fun!

One of my favorites is a photo of a toy cap gun. You remember the cowboy six shooters that had the roll of caps inside? The caption simply says: I can smell this photo.

So can I!

And my favorite one: Kids today will never know the joy of laying around and reading the Sunday funnies.

I’m sure every generation looks back and feels similar. I have no idea where things are going and what kind of world those aforementioned grandpups will grow up in. But one thing I do know, I don’t think we’re in a better world than the one our grandparents grew up in. And unless we made some course corrections pretty quick, I’m pretty sure it ain’t getting any better.

So I hope you’ll bear with me when I harp on some of the silliness that goes on today. If we all say enough is enough, then maybe your grandpups and mine have a shot.

Two cents, which is about how much Timmons said his columns are worth, appears periodically on Wednesdays in The Paper. Timmons is the publisher of The Paper and can be contacted at [email protected].