Butch Remembers the School Bully

   Do you remember the school bully? It may have been a classmate or older student who continually harassed, made fun or picked on others. Many of you may have encountered an individual who fit that description during your childhood. There was no one like that in my class during my 12 years of school, and all of the students in the grades ahead of me were nice and friendly . . . except one.

  This boy was a year older than me. He had been in trouble for fighting and not minding his teacher a few times when all of the elementary classes had recess together, but he had never bothered me. That changed when I was in 3rd grade, when the boys in my class and the boys in 4th grade were organized into teams to play basketball against each other in front of the high school students during the noon hour. I made two baskets that year…a lucky 25 ft. shot from near the sideline…and unfortunately…a lay-up for the other team! This older boy called me a “stupid dumb—,” in front of the other boys. I was embarrassed, but kept my mouth shut.

   I tried to avoid being near that boy, but in junior high the 7th and 8th grade boys had PE class together. The boy was constantly browbeating and making snide remarks to boys smaller than him. And every so often I heard him repeat what he had called me in elementary school. I put up with it and never said a thing. By the time I was a sophomore, I had physically matured and was the same height and weight as this boy. We were both on the varsity basketball team. I had practiced and practiced through the years and had earned a spot on the starting five. The bully was a sub who played very seldom during the games. After practice one evening, he called me the “coach’s pet,” claiming that the only reason I was a starter was because I had “sucked up to the coach.” Well, that did it. I faced off with him in the locker room, looked him in the eyes, and told him that if he ever said anything derogatory to me again, then I was going to pound the crap out of him. I was ready for a fight! But he just snickered and left the room. A few weeks later he quit the team. During the remainder of his school years, he continued to get into trouble and also bragged about drinking alcohol, but I never heard him badmouth me again.

   Fast forward to many years later after I had been elected Sheriff. One afternoon, the county court judge sentenced a man to serve three years in confinement after the fellow had been convicted of his third drunk driving offense. One of my deputies brought the man to jail, and I was there when he arrived. It was my former antagonist . . . the school bully. He was placed with the other prisoners in the cellblock. After a few weeks, he requested to speak with me in person. He had overheard the other prisoners say that I was in need of a trusty, who is a prisoner designated by the Sheriff to help out at the jail, and can be trusted not to escape or violate any jail rules. Such a person has their own private cell, and each day helps the kitchen employees, sweeps, mows the grounds, washes patrol cars and assists the jail officers when needed. He asked me if he could be the trusty.

   Despite what he had done during those school years back in the 1960’s, I made the decision to forgive and forget, and the old school bully became the new jail trusty. During the next year, he was a great help at the jail. We had many one on one conversations, reminisced about our childhood days growing up in a small town, and eventually became good friends. He was also very friendly and helped my wife, who was the jail matron, on many occasions. After I became Sheriff, I placed a poster of the Golden Rule (“Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”…meaning “Treat other people the way you would like to be treated.”) in the jail office. I have always believed that being nice to people, including those incarcerated, is the right way to treat people. I’m certain the former bully read that many times during his stay there.

   After I left office, a few months later my wife and I heard a knock on the door at our home. I was surprised when I opened the door and saw who it was. Yes, it was the childhood school bully . . . my former trusty and now a good friend. He had come to visit. He told us he had quit drinking, had a good job, and was getting married again. He visited with us a few more times before moving to the southern part of the state, but called regularly to see how we were.

   Life can sometimes take twists and turns, but God has a plan for everyone . . . even if it takes a while to accomplish. People can change . . . with a little help.

John “Butch” Dale is a retired teacher and County Sheriff. He has also been the librarian at Darlington the past 36 years, and is a well-known artist and author of local history.