Guess What Butch Won?

When I was a youngster growing up here in the Darlington community, the American Legion sponsored a fish fry each summer. This event included local entertainment and a drawing for prizes, but there was also a carnival outfit, with rides and games, that set up on Main street. Some of the games were “chance” or “luck,” such as bingo, lucky ducks, etc., but there were others that involved some degree of skill. My Dad was the announcer during most of those years, and many kids also begged him to win a stuffed animal at the dart game. A person was given four darts and had to pop four balloons to win a prize. Well, Dad could win just about every time!

I wasn’t skilled at throwing darts, but I was good at other carnival games…knocking down milk bottles with a softball, shooting a basketball, tossing wooden rings on bottles of soda, and my specialty…pitching nickels onto plates, cups, and glasses. I didn’t particularly want to win glassware, but other kids, and even some adults, gave me nickels to try to win for them!

When I was a student at Purdue in 1967, my father-in-law asked me to help him at the Illinois State Fair, where he was showing his pigs. Between the classes, I headed over to the carnival area to look around. I found the game in which one could win glassware, but now it cost a dime instead of a nickel. I had three dimes in my pocket…what the heck…might as well try! I surveyed the arrangement of the glassware to find the correct angle at which to toss the dimes. At the very top of all the glassware was a tiny shot glass, with a sign below it that said “Grand Prize.”

“What do I win if my dime stays in the shot glass?” I inquired of the man running the booth. “Well, you win a monkey.” I didn’t want a plush stuffed animal, but I thought that perhaps my younger sister or brother might like it. I tossed the first dime at the shot glass, which was about eight feet away. The dime went in the shot glass…and ricocheted out…so close! With my second dime, I tried to throw at a higher angle…but missed the shot glass by a couple of inches. OK…one dime left. I looked over the arrangement of dishes. If I could toss the dime onto a small plate a foot below the shot glass, perhaps it would bounce off the dish…slowing its speed and improving its trajectory.

Well, I tossed the dime. It hit the plate, bounced up…and landed squarely in the shot glass! A loud buzzer and siren went off, and the carnival worker yelled, “You win the monkey…you win the monkey! That’s the first time anyone has won!” I couldn’t figure out why he was so excited about me winning a stuffed monkey…until he reached under the counter…and placed a small cage in front of me…and inside the cage was an honest-to-God…REAL monkey! One of those little monkeys that you see with organ grinders. He even had on a little hat and and a diaper! Several people gathered around to take a look. The little monkey started to go berserk…making screeching sounds and climbing all over the inside of the cage…psycho monkey…great!

Several thoughts ran through my mind. What am I going to do with a monkey? Does a monkey eat special foods? Can a monkey carry diseases? What will my wife think if I bring a lunatic monkey home to live with us? And I had read one time that if a person is bitten by a monkey, they can become seriously ill. That did it. I announced to the crowd,”Does anyone want to buy a monkey?” No immediate response…but then a few seconds later a woman asked, “How much?” I had no idea, but replied, “How about $200?”

The lady started to get teary-eyed and said, “All I have is fifty dollars.” I looked at the monkey. That critter acted like he was crazy. And if he had been caged forever, who knows…maybe he was. The crowd started to leave. I looked at the woman. I had a feeling she would take good care of the monkey. And she had “that look” in her eyes. You know the look. A look you cannot resist…That did it…”Sold!”

Maybe I should have kept the little monkey. Perhaps it would have calmed down later on. And if I had waited, I could likely have sold it for much more. But for three dimes, I had come out with fifty dollars, which was how much I earned each week working for my father-in-law on his farm, trying to work my way through college. It may have cost me more than that for vet bills, monkey food, and perhaps…a monkey psychiatrist.

I have won many prizes through the years…most of the time stuffed animals for my kids and grandkids. It must be a God-given talent…outsmarting the “carnies.” Pretty lowly accomplishment as far as life skills go. Oh well. But how many people can say they won a real monkey…and a crazy one at that? Oh, my Lord!

John “Butch” Dale is a retired teacher and County Sheriff. He has also been the librarian at Darlington the past 32 years, and is a well-known artist and author of local history.