A Return To Fashion

All my life, I’ve found it hard to resist a good bargain. So the pandemic briefly curtailed my excellent purchasing decisions.

I was always out in the stores, shopping for the latest in exercise equipment, self-help videos, or ideas to impress my supervisors.

And, I really liked clothes. At work, I usually wore nice khakis and a golf shirt that made me look semi-cool.

I shopped both in-store and online. Truth is, I wanted to look better than I actually am. I believe in that old saying, “If you don’t have a good act, you better wear a good costume.”

But my shopping stopped when in-office activities got cancelled temporarily. Instead, my company scheduled a series of daily video conferences.

So, I had to adjust to just looking great above the waist. I positioned my home office in a small storage space we call Uncle Bob’s Basement, because it smells like old relatives. I put a bookcase behind my chair, so viewers would think I had actually read them.

But each day at home my physical appearance descended closer to Hades. First, I quit shaving my scraggly beard. I looked like a guy who fell face-first onto grass clippings..

I started wearing sweatshirts with the sleeves cut off. I bought two pair of gray sweatpants, which I alternated every other week.

One day a cousin came for a social visit, and suddenly appeared in my basement. He said he found me by the smell.

But in the last few months, we’ve returned to the office. I’m showering every other day now, and my wife says I look almost normal again.

Truthfully, my socks don’t match every day. But that’s a style choice.

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