Breast Beards, Enneagrams And Compassion Fatigue

A newborn fawn died on the hill below our house two weeks ago.  My heart wanted to break into a million pieces, but instead, I steeled my self for what had to be done.  Last year, I watched a committee of vultures line the trees down in the preserve over that same hill.   Upon further inspection, I discovered a doe, protecting her dead fawn from the tyrannies of big beaked birds.  I determined this little dappled baby would not meet the same fate, so I wrapped it up in a plaid blanket and called the City of Crawfordsville Street Department. As I placed the bundle roadside, I said a few kind words and uttered an apology of my inability to save him/her.  (And I may have used the “b” word to describe Mother Nature that day.)

And a few weeks before that, a rafter of turkeys had taken up residence in our backyard. I spied a lone gobbler with a feather protruding from its’ chest.  I immediately started to fret:  Oh my gosh, is it injured?  Did the other turkeys kick him/her out of the family?  What can I do to help it?  Poor turkey……  Then I logged into Google and searched for “turkeys with feathers protruding from their chests.” Turns out it is called a “breast beard” and is a naturally phenomena used to attract mates. After that, I convinced myself to take a chill pill.  Besides, how would I possibly take care of an injured turkey? Add in the dead fawn, a squirrel flat out on a low tree branch, a stray cat that won’t eat the food I set out and the gosh-awful news that plays in a steady stream into our consciousness and I am a swirling mess of emotion.

This shouldn’t surprise me, although I never quite get used to an injured, dead or dying animal.  My reactions are fairly predictable and occasionally pragmatic.  I have been known to put on an oxygen mask and do a deep dive into my psyche to find out what makes me who I am.

In 2019,  I read the Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Sabile.  The subject matter was an in depth description of the Enneagram.

The Enneagram is an ancient personality type system with an uncanny accuracy in describing how human beings are wired, both positively and negatively. Not only will you learn more about yourself, but you will also start to see the world through other people’s eyes, understanding how and why people think, feel, and act the way they do.

Some religions view it as a tool to be shunned.  Other religions, mystic cultures and psychotherapy milieus embrace the Enneagram as a tool to understand personalties.  If you choose to take the test to find your dominant personality type, I think you will be pleasantly surprised as it tends to be very accurate.  After filling in the bubbles, I came out as a solid Type Two on the scale.  Here I am in a nutshell: 

Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.

As with any personality trait there is a spectrum of modulation.  I fear I push the needle to the “over caring” side a little too frequently.   And this Type Two is ready to crawl into a hole. 

I’ve always had far more sympathy towards animals than humans.  If my grandmother was still alive, I know she would agree.  My elementary school collection of moth larva, monarch butterfly cocoons and Easter chicks lined our garage.  Within a matter of weeks, all of the moth larva had hatched and shriveled up and one of my chicks had dropped dead in the water bowl.  I still remember Grandma Dorothy’s words as I sobbed over the death of little San Fernando Red: You won’t cry for me this much when I die.   She may have been correct. There are memes on Facebook stating, “I don’t care who dies in a movie as long as the dog lives.”  That sounds so callous.  Of course I care about people.  No, I don’t like it when anyone dies.  However, my emotional state is arrested when it comes to the depth of feeling I have over human loss versus animals.  I needed to know more about why my Type Two enneagram personality has gone numb over the current human condition. 

Research into possibilities enlightened me into some novel terms;  empathy fatigue and compassion fatigue.  Compassion Fatigue was first described in the 1980’s by Dr. Charles Figley, an American university professor whose specialties included the study of Traumatology. ( Among other distinctions, Figley became a full professor at Purdue University in 1983 with a courtesy appointment in the Department of Psychological Studies.) (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Figley  Initially used to describe the condition caregivers of those with PTSD experience over time, Compassion Fatigue can be assigned to any number of individuals who experience a set of symptoms when exposed to traumatic events. In this day and age with the pandemic, mass shootings, hunger, drought, fires and a myriad of other disasters, I think it is a fair assumption that any one of us might find ourselves suffering from at the very least, empathy fatigue.So what, exactly, is Compassion Fatigue?

 According to The American Institute of Stress,  CF is also called, “vicarious traumatization” or secondary traumatization (Figley, 1995). The emotional residue or strain of exposure to working with those suffering from the consequences of traumatic events. It differs from burn-out, but can co-exist. Compassion Fatigue can occur due to exposure on one case or can be due to a “cumulative” level of trauma. Individuals working in healthcare professions with frequent exposure to trauma may develop symptoms such as exhaustion, lack of self-care, substance abuse, isolation, numbness, difficulty with personal relationships, irritability and a decreased sense of purpose.

 In essence, the very thing personality traits that draw individuals into helping professions are the same ones that take a hit when one cares too much.  It is like a snake swallowing its own tail;  what moves us forward can also destroy us. I imagine the same holds true (maybe even more so) for the workers at animal shelters across the country.

I don’t want to grow numb and disconnected from the suffering in the world.  I don’t believe humans are wired to be uncaring.  Maybe in the essence of self-preservation there is a season for a time-out, a respite from giving and caring too much.  So, if you find yourself starting to numb to the misfortunes and plight of others in the world, perhaps you need time to recharge yourself.  Try turning that compassion inward for a change.

For a better understanding of Compassion Fatigue and how to cope, this article provides some good insights.  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/compassion-fatigue

Gwynn Wills is a former speech therapist, certified Amherst Writers and Artists workshop Affiliate and Leader and founder of The Calliope Writers Group. After growing up in Crawfordsville, her and her husband returned several years ago.