Butch Says It’s OK To Be In Your “Own Little World”

Many times in the past, my wife has asked me a question or made a comment…and then repeated it when I did not respond. With a more determined voice she then stated, “You know…I think you are in your own little world!” I would bet that this has happened to many of you…especially those of you who are “baby boomers” or older. Our minds are working all of the time…thinking, planning, worrying, remembering…and we tend to shut out anything that might interrupt our thoughts. I think I know why…

I was the firstborn in a family of five children. I had no siblings until I was four years old, so I entertained myself, sometimes in creative ways…and, according to my parents, often in mischievous ways! When I started first grade, I was friendly, but not very sociable. I became more extroverted as the school years progressed, but I never did enjoy parties or large gatherings…and still don’t today. I believe growing up on a farm also allowed me to achieve more individuality and introspection. I would often climb to the very top of a barn or our house, and just sit there and enjoy the view and the solitude. Although four brothers and sisters joined me as the years progressed, most of the time I was content to just be doing something on my own. I could entertain myself.

After college I chose occupations in which I interacted with the public to a great extent…teacher, police officer, and librarian. Most people would assume that public service individuals are extroverts, but that assumption is often misleading. As a teacher, I enjoyed directing an energetic group of youngsters, but I looked forward to “prep period,” the quietness and solitude of preparing the next day’s lessons or grading papers. As a police officer, and even as County Sheriff, between calls and incidents, I was alone in my patrol car or office most of the time. And when working at the library, patrons come and go, but the majority of the time I am alone, with only the grandfather clock ticking away to keep me company. My hobbies, perhaps selected subconsciously, also do not involve being with others…drawing and painting, writing, reading, restoring antique guns and old cars. And one of my favorite weekend activities is mowing. You can do a lot of thinking on a riding mower or tractor. Just ask Forrest Gump.

I actually enjoy talking with people, but my early childhood evidently induced some introversion which leads me to seek solitude. It’s similar to a farmer who enjoys conversing with his farming buddies, but savors his alone time in the fields…or the factory worker who stands at his machine all day, hoping no one will bother him…or the commuter who enjoys the time alone driving to and from his workplace…or the housewife who relaxes in her chair after all the kids are in bed. It turns out that wanting to be alone often is a good thing, according to these people:

“The best thinking has been done in solitude.” Thomas Edison

“Being alone gives us the power to regulate and adjust our lives. A restorer of energy, the stillness of alone experiences provides us with much-needed rest. Alone time is fuel for life.” Ester Buchholz

“In solitude the mind gains strength and learns to lean upon itself.” Laurence Sterne

In the peace and quiet, the mind becomes more keen, and people my age often recollect pleasant childhood memories, which improve their attitude. One of the quotes in Dostoevsky’s classic book “The Brothers Karamazov” goes like this: “You must know that there is nothing higher and stronger and more wholesome and good for life in the future than some good memory, especially a memory of childhood, of home….If a man carries many such memories with him into life, he is safe to the end of his days.”

And to be sure, many of us “baby-boomers” who grew up here in Montgomery County have many good memories from our childhood. We are so lucky to have grown up in the “good times” when school was fun, people got along, neighbors helped each other, and parents taught us Christian values that lasted a lifetime. We may not have realized it at the time, but now, as we have reached our later years, the solitude allows us to remember and cherish all of those good times. You don’t have to be a “loner,” but you can enjoy the peace and quiet and self-reflection.

Yes, dear, you were correct…sometimes I am in my own little world…a world full of many present thoughts, and sometimes memories from the past, and after 73 years, I doubt that I will change…but give me a few minutes alone, and I will think about it.

John “Butch” Dale is a retired teacher and County Sheriff. He has also been the librarian at Darlington the past 32 years, and is a well-known artist and author of local history.