Butch Cannot Live Without His Coffee!

With inflation and the recession…(YES, WE ARE IN A RECESSION despite what Ol’ Joe says), my wife and I have been trying to cut back on a few items at the grocery that we normally would purchase…doughnuts, various snacks, candy, select cuts of meats, dog treats, etc…all of these considered “extras.” I would guess that many of you are doing the same. Saving that extra $20 will buy four gallons of Biden gas for the weekly work commute.

We take our time and shop wisely, but we usually buy the same food each week. Yes, we are stuck in a rut of what we like to eat, and basically rotate eight or nine meals. I don’t like change.

We may skip some items, but there is one item that I do not skimp on…COFFEE! I absolutely cannot get through one day without it…Folgers 100% Columbian from the Arabica beans. A carton of 24 K-cups has increased from $12.98 to $14.98. I don’t care how much it costs, I will still buy it! The first thing I do when I awake and get dressed is stagger out to the Keurig and hit the ON button. While it is warming up and bubbling and hissing, I grab my Farmall tractor coffee cup and wait for the Keurig to do its thing. Just the smell starts to get me going…it’s crazy! After a few sips, my mind is clear. I am ready for the day! I then sit down at my laptop and read The Paper and check my E-mails. Smooth sailing.

I did not drink coffee as a child. My Dad always said that coffee would stunt my growth, so I was stuck with tea and hot chocolate. I started drinking coffee when I was hired on the Sheriff’s Department in 1977…and was hooked. Coffee made me more alert and cleared my mind, especially during patrols and investigative interviews. I also often provided a cup of coffee to a suspect during questioning. They relaxed more…and guess what? They started to remember a “few details” that they had forgotten earlier! “Oh, yes, now I remember…maybe I did accidentally steal that car.”

When my oldest son started Purdue in 1990, I took on a second full-time job here at the library. I worked as the librarian from 11 am to 6 pm, then headed home to change clothes and grab a bite to eat before starting my shift as a deputy sheriff from 7 pm to 4 am. I survived on cigarettes, coffee, and Diet Pepsi. Thank God, I was able to quit smoking when I left the Sheriff’s Department in 1997! But coffee and Diet Pepsi have remained staples in my daily routine. I only drink half of a Diet Pepsi (caffeine free) each day, but I drink SIX half-cups of coffee every day…coffee with caffeine…no sugar and no funky flavors!

I have read that coffee is an antioxidant that can reduce the risk of cancer. It likely scares the bejesus out of cancer cells. It reminds me of my drill sergeant at the police academy. It is a “take charge” drink. Strong! Bold! Rich! Lively! Brewed by Roast Masters! Coffee gives orders…”Think! Talk! Move!…and sometimes “Get to the bathroom NOW!” It doesn’t fool around like those sissy drinks. After supper, I sit down with a cup of coffee…and it gives MORE orders…”Grab a book! Sit down! Turn on your reading light! Shut up! Relax!” Ah, yes…my coffee, a good book, peace and quiet. All is right with the world! Thanks, Mr. Folgers and Mr. Keurig. I love you both.

John “Butch” Dale is a retired teacher and County Sheriff. He has also been the librarian at Darlington the past 32 years, and is a well-known artist and author of local history.