Butch Says Losing A Game Can Be A Good Thing

Ah yes, playing sports…You win some, you lose some. As they say, that’s life. If anyone should know, it’s yours truly. A few days ago I was looking through the scrapbook my mother compiled for me when I competed for the good ol’ Darlington Indians (which nowadays would be called the Darlington Indigenous Natives…could they get all of that on a uniform?)

In baseball, as I mentioned once before, I could never manage to beat New Ross. In a home contest one time, my team scored 16 runs against the Blue Jays…more than enough to win. But my arm had ached all week. My fastball was non-existent, so I decided to throw a slow knuckleball to Ron Haffner, their best hitter. Big mistake. He hit a homerun about a half mile over the centerfield fence. For the first and only time I can ever recall, the coach replaced me as pitcher. Final score 19-16…Seriously!

During the 1965 basketball season, our team had no starters over 6 feet tall, but we played our hearts out. Entering the County Tourney, our record was 4-7, and we had to face New Market, who had a record of 9-2. I hit eight baskets in the first half to give us a 38-26 lead, but then went stone cold. New Market forged ahead with two minutes left in the game. However, our team made some crucial free throws in the last stretch…and we won 49-45! We then played New Ross, who had a 15-game winning streak, the longest in the state. In an earlier regular season game, the Blue Jays had demolished us 88-60. But we didn’t think about that…we wanted to win…and we did…49-45…a miracle…and captured the County Keg! That evening we faced Coal Creek for the title. Darlington fans prepared a bonfire at the school to celebrate our upcoming glorious victory…Yep, that’s right…we lost 47-45…so long County Keg. We had it for seven hours…a new record…for shortest time.

Two weeks later, we played the Bearcats again. I was determined to get that damn Keg back. I made my first eleven shots, scored 27 points, and we won 62-45. Hoorah! Then the last game of the season…Waynetown, easy pickings…no problem. During the first quarter, one of their players elbowed me in the mouth…on purpose. I sat in the locker room until the last quarter, trying to stop the bleeding. Yep…right again…we lost the game 58-51…and the Keg, and finished with a record of 10-11. That was one CRAZY year.

Our first game during my senior year in 1966 against Wainwright was a harbinger of things to come. We lost to the Mustangs 65-63 in the last few seconds. During a stretch of five games, we were defeated twice by a single basket and lost three games in overtime. One of those was a four-overtime game against New Market, the County champs that year. In our next-to-last regular season game, we played against Granville Wells, who had a record of 15-2. Amazingly, we won by a score of 65-44! We then had to play Marion County champion Speedway, who sported a record of 19-2, in the Zionsville Sectional. We tied the game in the third quarter, but ended up losing 62-52. Season record 7-14. Whoopee.

That spring, during track season, I was sure I could win the long jump event at the county track meet at Wabash College. Scratched all four jumps and didn’t even place. In the pole vault event, I figured the best I could place was third…and if lucky…perhaps second. However, New Market’s Dale Conrad, who had the best vaults all season, slipped on all three tries…and I won! Go figure. My high school sports days were over.

I learned many lessons in all those years as an athlete. I learned that sometimes…no matter how good you are and hard you try and how much you want to win…you might just lose anyway. And there are times, when you think you are going to lose…if you work hard enough and also have a little luck…you just might win. I also learned how to be a good sport…win or lose. I never enjoyed losing a game or contest, but I did learn how to cope with failure. Winning and losing comes in many shapes and sizes throughout a person’s lifetime. When you lose, it makes you more determined to work harder. When you win, don’t become too complacent or too confident. You might just get knocked off that pedestal.

Many kids today receive “participation trophies” just for being on a team. I believe they need to experience loss and the lessons that come with it. An inflated sense of self can sometimes lead to a sense of entitlement. My grandkids play sports at North. I always tell them, “Play hard, do your best. If you win, that’s great. If you lose, be a good sport and just try harder the next time. That will make you a winner in life!”

And yes, that also applies to politicians. When I was elected Sheriff in 1994, I really had not expected to win. I found out very quickly that some people cannot graciously accept defeat. Oh, the stories I could tell…..

John “Butch” Dale is a retired teacher and County Sheriff. He has also been the librarian at Darlington the past 32 years, and is a well-known artist and author of local history.