Butch Agrees That Age Is a State of Mind

   One of my former students called me last week, and we caught up on the past few years. During our conversation, she mentioned that traveling is in her plans as she will be retiring soon. Retirement? That can’t be possible. I just had her as a student in my sixth-grade social studies class! But wait … that class was in 1972 … 53 years ago!

   I turned 76 last year. I don’t feel that old. In my mind, I’m 46 years old. I agree with Mark Twain, who stated, “Age is a state of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” A few aches, pains and senior moments? Just laugh those off. Here are some great quotes I found about getting older …

   “I got up this morning, put on my shirt and a button fell off. I picked up my briefcase and the handle came off. Now I’m afraid to go to the bathroom.” Rodney Dangerfield

   “I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do.” Phyllis Diller

   “I’m so old that my blood type has been discontinued.” Bill Dana

   “First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.” Leo Rosenberg

   “People seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older. They’re cramming for their final exam.” George Carlin

   “People ask me what I’d most appreciate getting for my 87th birthday. I tell them a paternity suit.” George Burns

   “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.”  Bob Hope

   “At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover that they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” Ann Landers

   “I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.”  Rita Rudner

   “You know you are getting old when you get that one candle on the cake, and hear ‘See if you can blow this out.'”  Jerry Seinfeld

   And here are few anonymous quotes:

    “I finally realize why I look so bad in pictures. It’s my face.”

    “I love bacon. Sometimes I eat it twice a day. It takes my mind off the terrible chest pains I keep getting.”

    “I put our bathroom scale in the closet, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.”

    “When I was a kid, I watched the Wizard of Oz, and wondered how the scarecrow could talk if he didn’t have a brain. Then I got Facebook.”

    “At my age, ‘getting lucky’ means walking into a room and remembering what I came in for.”

    “You know you’re getting older when the little old gray-haired lady you helped across the street … is your wife.”

    “My grandkids want a cat for Christmas. Normally I serve turkey, but hey, if it will make them happy …”

    “When asked who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to pick one of your own … I know that now.”

   I certainly don’t worry about my age. I agree with George Burns, who said, “I’m very pleased to be here. Let’s face it, at my age I’m very pleased to be anywhere.” And Diane Von Furstenburg stated, “The older you get, the more you should learn to love life and appreciate the beauty that comes with age.” My goal is to reach 100. At that age, there is one great advantage … no peer pressure.

John “Butch” Dale is a retired teacher and County Sheriff. He has also been the librarian at Darlington the past 36 years, and is a well-known artist and author of local history.