COOL VACATION IN A HOT SPOT

There? Really! In the winter? Seriously?

That’s what many people said when I told them that Mary Ellen and I (and our son) were headed to Iceland for a vacation and taking 17 hearty souls with us. We knew that others had gone on this very same adventure and loved it. For many, this destination was on their bucket list.

Based on what we learned on the first day of the excursion from Greg, our excellent guide, it might have been too late for travelers on this trip to complete the remaining items on that bucket list. Why? Because there are lots of ways to die in Iceland. Here are a few:

Get in the way of an erupting volcano

Get swept into the ocean by a sneaker wave

Step into quicksand

Eat fermented shark that has not been properly processed

Get crushed by an avalanche

Step too close to a geyser.

And my favorite: Stand in front of a glacier and remain still…for a very long time.

Greg was overly cautious of each potential danger, with appropriate warnings to all of us. That’s what a great guide does, and he filled the bill. And, of course, we were all safe. As virtually all travelers are.

The big draw of Iceland is viewing the Northern Lights. You have to be lucky to see this phenomenon. First, you need an almost cloudless sky at night, a relatively rare event in these parts. Additionally, the naked eye is not the most effective method for observing this solar activity. You really need your iPhone to record this astronomical event, along with a knowledge of several optical settings now available on newer cellular models.

On the first clear night, our bus was filled primarily with seniors. We headed to a nearby location with minimal light pollution. As my friend Carolyn observed, “We will have 40 older folks in a pitch-black parking lot, staring at their cell phones with no clue how to adjust the settings. What could go wrong?” We did experience the Northern Lights, a display that few will forget. The next day, we ventured out on a boat to take another look from the bay.

I had a good one-liner during the trip, depending on whether you like dreadful puns or not. While we were exploring the terrain, a wedding party passed by, including the bride and groom. Apparently, their dream was to get married at the foot of a glacier. As the bride, in a stunning white wedding dress and hiking boots, negotiated several large boulders in her path, I couldn’t resist screaming, “Your marriage is already on the rocks.”

The highlight of the trip was the Sky Lagoon. This giant pool offered a luxurious experience, as we lounged in the water and sipped cocktails from the conveniently accessible bar. AHHH. Initially, we were scheduled to bathe in the Blue Lagoon, but Greg saw some data that suggested the nearby volcano could erupt at any time, spewing lava at 2,000 degrees into the wading area and potentially frying everyone. He thought that knowing this might compromise our relaxing experience.

The Icelandic language is very difficult. Imagine trying to teach a six-year-old to remember a simple word like Tryggingarmalastofnun, which is an insurance institution, or Landsbokasafnsvorour, which is a librarian.

My guess is that most first-grade teachers, after seven years on the job, opt for therapy rather than a sabbatical.

We all had a great time in the Land of Fire and Ice. You must put this on your must-do list. Or as they say in Icelandic: twyrpksjheeutkizopmgr iejnduyriuejhk

Did I fool you? I just ran the back of my hand over the keyboard. I hope I didn’t accidentally say anything off-color.