Want to Fix Government? Here’s How

It’s that time of year when we pay more attention to our money – because Uncle Sam and all his many, many, many, many relatives in Washington, Indianapolis and right here at home have their hands out and have ever-so-kindly given us until April 15 to fork over our hard-earned dollars.

OK, forget the family tree in D.C., let’s talk about our government cousins in Indianapolis, Montgomery County and Crawfordsville. You all want me to give you my money with a smile instead of a snarl on my face? We can do that. It’s easy. Want to know how?

Clone DOGE!

I mean it. Let’s take what’s happening in Washington, D.C. with Donald Trump and Elon Musk and duplicate it in Indianapolis, at City Hall on Pike Street and at the Courthouse in beautiful downtown Crawfordsville or the county offices out on Constitution Row.

Get an outsider – Elon Musk is already taken – and give them full access and let them find what they find . . . and make whatever that is public.

No, don’t give me any of that crap about unelected people running the government. That’s been going on since 1789 when George Washington grabbed Thomas Jefferson, Alexander Hamilton, Henry Knox, Edmond Randolph and John Adams and created the very first cabinet. Let’s be very clear. Nobody elected those guys. Ol’ George looked around and said, “hey bud, come on over here and help me run this thing.”

Sound familiar?

And let’s not even dip our toe into the waters of whatever idiot said the government isn’t a business and shouldn’t be run like one. Of course it’s not a private business but it sure as hell should run more like one than the way it has! Just last week I read another DOGE bombshell that revealed the federal government OK’d $42.5 billion to get broadband into rural areas. They OK’d that in 2021. OK, so how many homes have been connected since then. Zero.

Zip!

Zilch!

Nada!

Yeah, I don’t want to hear about the government not running like a business.

Here’s why state and local DOGE’s make sense. Everyone with a brain – Republicans, Democrats, Independents, Libertarians, Dogs, Cats and Pet Iguanas – are frustrated and fed up. Property taxes, gas taxes, cigarette taxes, taxes on taxes . . . it’s reached a breaking point. But no one knows how to fix it.

Decent folks run for office with good, no check that, great intentions and hit stonewall roadblocks. Either they tick off the wrong leaders and get relegated to the committee for run-away puppies (check out those initials) or they find they’ve reached the land of milk and honey. Life gets better. Net worths go up. And next thing you know, they’re a lifer and vacationing in St. Moritz.

It’s clear politicians are not going to fix this. We need a state DOGE. A county DOGE. A city DOGE. Maybe even a township DOGE.

Never you mind we tried something similar back in 2007 when Indiana Gov. Mitch Daniels sweettalked former Gov. Joe Kernan and Indiana Supreme Court Chief Justice Randall Shepard to lead the new Indiana Commission of Local Government Reform. What came out of that was the Kernan-Shepard Report that found a couple dozen things to get fixed.

Didn’t work. Instead of bombs bursting in air, it was more like a firecracker. A few things were accomplished, but most were ignored. As a friend of mine observed – do you really expect government to cut itself back?

We need an outsider heading up DOGE. A real outsider. The outsider is the key.

Who? Don’t know – but they can’t be an insider. WIBC’s Rob Kendall comes to mind for the state version. Locally? Dunno. (Heck, they all have my number. Wink. Wink.)

C’mon politicians. Can you imagine the kind of publicity this would create? National Nightly News would send a crew and the next day the entire nation would be all abuzz about this state, this city, this town, this county. You can hear the baritone voice crooning now.  “We come to you tonight from Indiana where a local government is taking a closer look at government efficiency – and waste – on a very local level . . . ”

So here’s the call to Indiana Gov. Mike Braun and Crawfordsville Mayor Todd Barton and county commissioners and county councils – find your Elon Musks and get started. You want to make a difference? You want to really begin fixing the system Heck, you want to be wildly popular? Find your Elon Musk.

Two cents, which is about how much Timmons said his columns are worth, appears periodically on Wednesdays in The Paper. Timmons is the publisher of The Paper and can be contacted at [email protected].