Butch: Father at Home Can Make Difference

   When I sit down at the dinner table each evening after a day of work, I listen to the Channel 59 News out of Indy. I tune in to hear the weather forecast and the latest sports updates. With regard to other news, I already know much of what will be reported…the latest homicides, drug busts, and major crimes in the metro area. Day in and day out, it remains the same. When they display photos of the accused, I often wonder what type of family circumstances they experienced that brought about a life of drug use, crime, and an obvious absence of morals and concern for others.

  As a former police officer and County Sheriff, I already know where some of the blame lies. Many of the young men and women who commit crimes likely did not have a father present in their household when they were growing up. Being a youngster can be a puzzling and frustrating experience. Kids need all the help they can get, and it’s much easier with both a mother and father around.

  Think back on your life. In what ways did your father shape your personality? My four siblings and I had a terrific father when we were growing up on the farm. He taught me right from wrong, and when I managed to stray from the path of appropriate behavior, he was there to discipline me. I am glad he did. He showed me that there is a right way and a wrong way to do things, and if I didn’t do something right the first time, then I would do it again until it was done right.

  Dad taught me that helping others and doing good things for the community is a privilege. And many times when there was a job to be done, he reminded me that “work never hurt anyone…you should be glad that you are able to work.”…As far as my school days, “Respect and obey your teachers. They care about you. Study hard. Read every day.” He never suggested that I pursue any certain occupation after high school. “You can be whatever you want to be, but first decide where you want to live and then find a job you enjoy.” I was involved in all of the sports that my school offered, and I became a pretty good athlete. Dad attended most of my games, but he never offered advice or criticism, and I was thankful for that. He said that sports is for fun, and that I should just always do my best…win or lose, and display good sportsmanship.

   Dad did not like being around people who complained all the time, and he said others do not want to hear about your troubles. If you promise to do something, keep your promise. If someone asks a question, and you don’t know the answer, it’s no shame to tell them that. Don’t fret and worry about things in which you have no control over, and if something bad does happen, “You’ll survive!” and life will go on.

   Much of what I learned from my father was from just being with him and watching him interact with others. He taught many of life’s lessons by example. He was very sociable and was well-liked by everyone who knew him. He was a master joke teller, and I discovered that a smile solves many problems. I never witnessed him lose his temper with anyone. He never wished for material things, and I learned that saving money was a good thing. Dad served in General Patton’s Third Army during WWII. Because of some of things he had seen, he very seldom talked about the war. But Dad was very patriotic and loved our country…”the best country in the world.”

   I have tried to be a good father to my four children and lead by example, and my wife has been a good mother, too. A single mother can provide love, support and guidance, and hopefully the children will become good, productive citizens. But she cannot always take the place of a loving father in every respect. There are far too many kids who grow up today without a father in the house, and society is paying the price. As a police officer, I have personally seen the sad results, and when I watch the evening news, I am reminded of that every day.

John “Butch” Dale is a retired teacher and County Sheriff. He has also been the librarian at Darlington the past 36 years, and is a well-known artist and author of local history.