What Do You Do When . . . ?

by Karen Bazzani Zach

What do you do when you’re frustrated or in the dumps?  Well, I usually try to think back at something funny that has happened to me and I sure do have many of those items to reflect upon.  Thought I would share just some with you.  Plus, you are welcome to steal my memories if it’ll help perk ya’ up!!

First of all, when I was young up until I was about seven, I had very blonde hair and brown (cow) eyes.  We were on vacation out west and stopped at a Native Indian Reservation.  It was a place you could just walk around and look but that was about it.   Some strong looking Indian came and picked me up while mom, dad and the boys (my twin brothers) were off meandering.  He took me into his teepee (later learned he was the chief and had a habit of just scooping up kids especially with the blonde/brown theme).  I had a blast – he showed me things and let me touch ‘em.  Little bit of a language barrier but he knew probably as much English as I did at that point.  Soon the Agent came in and pulled me out of his arms – I was waving and thanking him for my private tour.  My folks were purely thankful and the twins I’m sure just hoped he’d keep me.

This probably happened more than 35 years ago but I can shut my eyes and see it just like it was occurring now.  I was in the concession stand one extremely hot summer evening and the snow cones were selling out.  Lance Clouse was about 6-7 and had REALLY been enjoying his (all over him).  He stood in front of the menu on the outside of the building, just looking, studying and dripping.  Finally, he said, “Hmmmm, it doesn’t say how much a napkin is.”  STILL laughing about that one and yes, I cleaned him up and he didn’t need the napkin!

Now, this one is scary, but also a bit fun.  One year on the way home from Florida we stopped at one of those road stands and the boys pooled their money then purchased a baby alligator.  I had to stretch my imagination to think he was cute (the boys did).  Well, “Rollo” worked just fine for the rest of the summer (Garry opening his mouth, Larry holding down his body and me putting the hamburger in – yep, I probably got the worst deal, but hey that was par for their course!  About Thanksgiving though Rollo began biting at my hand, Larry’s hand and he may have even nipped Gar.  One night, Rollo got out – I walked down to my grandmother’s about 3 in the morning by myself and stayed for about a week.  I wanted to just move in there but my dad got tough and said, “If that animal’s still in our house I’d have found him by now.”  So, we went from Rollo to Corky, a parakeet – not much of an improvement!

Our Italian grandmother knew English (and 7 other languages) as well as her own but our grandfather only knew a few words mining related and card related.  We always wanted to be with him, though as he was so unusual.  The four boys (twins and we only had two first cousins, both boys of course) would talk him into hitting them baseballs so he’d hit 20-30 and then throw the bat down yelling, BASTA!  Well, that was one word we knew – translating to “ENOUGH!” or get away from me in his case.  I loved to sit on his lap but I heard that word about 3 minutes in and if I didn’t get up he’d dump me over!  Funny now, not so much way back when!

I was a clown (Kelly, complete with the Irish brogue) for a few years, and shortly after I started such, our group was in a downtown parade.  Saw my dad and rushed over, saying, “Top o’ the mornin’ to ya’ Mr. Bazzani!”  He was in total shock that an Irish clown would know him.  He told me about it two or three times over the week and finally I fessed up. For me to get my dad’s goat was an amazing feat.  Almost always the other way around.  Funny trickster that he was (oh, and he died laughing)!

So, humor reigns in our family for generations actually (my grandmother’s grandfather was constantly spoofin’ someone, her father, her, my dad), now me, our daughter, her daughter.  Although I’m not positive that will continue but if I’m still around I’ll let ya’ know!

For years, Karen Zach was the editor of Montgomery Memories, our monthly magazine all about Montgomery County. Her column, Around the County, appeared every Friday in The Paper of Montgomery County. Karen retired from all that a few years ago but sent us this gem to share with you. You can reach her at karen.zach@sbcglobal.net.