Pondering life’s great mysteries . . .

By Tim Timmons

Notes scribbled on the back of a Blood, Sweat & Tears poster . . .

Why do I pull into a fast-food drive thru knowing:

• It will take too long
  • I will get irritated when others can’t figure out how two lanes work
  • I’m going to pay too much
  • And I’m going to eat things I should not

When the courthouse clock begins to ring, is that the moment the hour turns or is it during the ringing? Or is it at the end?

Why do so many people say it’s important to shop local and then go out of town to buy cars, shop at big box stores and ignore locally owned businesses? Prices? Perhaps if they supported local businesses more those prices might come down?

Even though there have been multiple coaches over multiple years, why do the Indianapolis Colts almost always revert to passing when the running game is working?

Speaking of the Colts, why is stopping the run almost always an issue?

Why did the movie theater out by the old mall stop posting what’s playing on their marquee?

Why do commercials on TV tell you to scan a barcode, go to a web site or to their social media site in order to find out what they are offering?

How come companies and businesses (and the government) are requiring cell phone numbers to send confirmation texts? Does EVERYONE text these days? What if someone doesn’t?

Ditto on e-mails?

Why, during the middle of the day, do I intrinsically understand that I need to eat better and exercise more . . . and then go home and toss a frozen pizza in the oven?

And eat ice cream after that?

And potato chips?

Why does my hair fall out of places where I want hair, and grow in places I don’t?

Why do my joints ache when I haven’t done anything strenuous?

And why do I make noises when I get out of a chair now? I didn’t use to.

Why do some folks think socialism is attractive?

Why is anyone under the age of 30 conservative?

Why is anyone over the age of 30 liberal?

Why do I have more patience with my grandchildren than I did with my children?

When I watch TV, why are there so many more cuss words than ever before, including the F bomb?

Ditto nudity?

Why am I angry about that? I wasn’t when I was younger.

Why do mindless videos enthrall millions on social media? What am I not getting?

Why do I sneeze, and then look in the tissue?

What is it about Hollywood celebs and royals that fascinates us so much?

Why do I like older music? Music from today? Not so much.

OK, enough pondering for one day. If anyone has answers for me I’d sure appreciate it. Then again, if you told me I’d probably forget. So why is it that my memory isn’t what it used to be?

Two cents, which is about how much Timmons said his columns are worth, appears periodically on Wednesdays in The Paper. Timmons is the publisher of The Paper and can be contacted at [email protected].