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ICY RELATIONSHIPS
The Wolfsies are headed to Iceland in March. We are thrilled to be taking a small group with us to enjoy this week-long adventure.
Mary Ellen is already checking the weather there, and she announces to me each morning that it is warmer in Reykjavik, the country’s capital, than it is in Indianapolis. For some reason, this makes her feel better. In her dogged research, she has determined that the key to an enjoyable experience is to have many layers, a position I took concerning our wedding cake 44 years ago.
My sister, who is single, is going with us, but I want to warn her that if she is on the hunt, not for moose, but an eligible man, to keep the following in mind:
The biggest issue men have when hooking up with women in Iceland is not that the ladies are cold. The men can be a little frosty themselves—but temperature is relative. The problem is that the person they meet at the Moose Antler Pub could actually be a relative.
Iceland is the home of only about 380,000 people, and its lineage has been documented over the past 1,000 years. Generally, people don’t move to or away from Iceland. (Why would they? And give up the best reindeer barbeque in the world?) The problem is that most people are probably related to each other, swinging from the same family tree.
Wedding planners and family reunion organizers compete for the same guests. Web dating services in Iceland were trying hard to match people who engage in similar sports, love hunting, enjoy moonlight walks, and whenever possible, have different great-grandparents.
Smartphones once featured a “bump” function. Potential lovers could tap their phones together to see how closely they were related. The incest app drew rave reviews with a rating of 4.5 out of 5 on the Google Play Store. That put it alittle behind the video game Grand Theft Auto, although stealing a car and kissing your cousin both carry similar jail terms.
Creators of the app were unhappy with the publicity. They claimed that the main intention of the application was to give data about the country’s rich genealogical history and provide information about relatives’ birthdays and anniversaries. But learning it’s Uncle Olafur’s 50th birthday doesn’t have the same impact as an app that tells you who to cozy up with. One of the app’s developers, Arnar Freyr Adalsteinsson, said he seldom used the bumping feature. “I just use common sense,” said Arnar. “If the woman was attractive but named Gloria Freyr Adalsteinsson, I would be a little wary.”
The manufacturer noted that the application was not for iPhones; it was only for Androids. I’m no expert on human sexuality, but if you’re an android, it’s probably safe to go home with anybody you want.