Butch Remembers His Family’s “Get-Togethers”

At the library, I have a photo of my father, my grandparents, and my aunts and uncles. The photo was taken at my grandparent’s farm after my Dad had returned from having served in WWII. When I glance at that photo, I often think of all of the family “get-togethers” that the Dales had when I was growing up. And by “family,” I am not referring just to my immediate family…my parents Bill and Millie, and my siblings, Gary, Julie, Sarah, and Mike…I mean the ENTIRE clan, which included my aunt Ruthie Wells, and her husband Lloyd, with sons Kendall and John…my uncle Albert “Ab” Dale, wife Agnes (“Aggie”), and sons Dick, Donnie, and David…my aunt Dora Cohee and her husband Norman, with children Dale, Mike, Becky, Libby, and Mary…and my aunt Barbara “Barkie” Hampton, with husband Bob, and children Sherry, Tom, Bruce, Phil, and Brent. My oldest uncle, Bernard, his wife Elsie, and children Jimmy and Janie, lived in Illinois, but visited as often as they could. Of course, Grandma Annabel and Grandpa Bert Dale, were always present to keep a watch on their tribe at these gatherings.

Now keep in mind that many families gather together on holidays and special occasions. But the Dale family didn’t need a holiday or excuse to have a “get-together,” and we did this hundreds of times when I was a youngster. All of my aunts and uncles and cousins, except for Bernard’s family, lived in the Darlington area. Many Montgomery County families in those days were close, both geographically and emotionally. Families looked out for each other and helped each other. If something went wrong, you could count on your family…not the government or welfare or some private agency…like what happens today in too many instances. My Dad, and Uncle Lloyd and Uncle Ab, along with Grandpa Dale, all farmed within a few miles of each other. They not only helped each other during harvest, but also on many other occasions. They loaned their equipment as needed and worked as a group all year round. All of my cousins on the farms worked and helped out, especially during harvest, baling hay, and taking care of livestock.

In the summers, the Dale family cookout was a common occurrence. Each family had a brick fireplace and a picnic table in their yard. The women were all outstanding cooks and made everything from scratch. While the men grilled the hamburgers and hot dogs, discussed farming and politics, and told jokes…yes, a few which I cannot repeat…the women laid out an overwhelming variety of tasty foods and side dishes, along with their specialty baked pies. Grandma Dale always made the sweet tea…with about an inch of sugar settling on the bottom of the jar! Some lucky child was selected to crank the handle of the ice cream maker, while his assistant cousin added the ice and salt. No one in Darlington could beat the Dale’s homemade ice cream in the taste department!

All of my cousins and I played sports and tag or hide and seek, rode go-carts and motor scooters, or caught up on the latest gossip. In the winter, we played in the snow or stayed inside and played cards or board games. I would hate to think how many times my cousin Libby Cohee and I played against each other in the “Uncle Wiggily” board game! I knew all of my cousins, and they were almost like brothers and sisters. We shared stories. We shared our playthings. We laughed together. And we made lasting memories together. The older ones also passed down their clothes to cousins, and I can recall receiving still good “hand-me-downs” from Dick and Donnie and Kendall. I appreciated that. They were family.

Today it is much different for many families. Unfortunately many children, after graduation from high school or college, or after marriage…leave home and move to another state. Some families have not had a get-together or family reunion in many years. Although they communicate by phone, text, or E-mail, it is not the same. The Dale family is no different. My grandparents and parents are deceased, as are all of my aunts and uncles but one. Three of my cousins are also deceased, and only six of the nineteen remaining Dale grandchildren still live in the Darlington area. Libby’s daughter had a family get-together for the entire Dale family a few years ago. Lots of family members showed up, and it was like old times.

But even though we don’t have those old-fashioned “get-togethers” any more, I will always treasure those wonderful days in the 1950s and 60s when we worked together, celebrated together, had fun together, and just “got together” for the heck of it. Maybe our country would be better off if families did that more often today. Through adversity, roadblocks, and differences in opinion…family togetherness is an important family value. My aunt Barkie, who is 93 and still lives here in Darlington, still brings me a dish of her homemade ice cream now and then…Now that’s what I call family dedication!

John “Butch” Dale is a retired teacher and County Sheriff. He has also been the librarian at Darlington the past 32 years, and is a well-known artist and author of local history.